No Penis Left Behind

CNSNews: Feds Spent $800,000 of Economic Stimulus on African Genital-Washing Program

The National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH), a division of the National Institutes of Health (NIH), spent $823,200 of economic stimulus funds in 2009 on a study by a UCLA research team to teach uncircumcised African men how to wash their genitals after having sex.

The genitalia-washing program is part of a larger $12-million UCLA study examining how to better encourage Africans to undergo voluntary HIV testing and counseling – however, only the penis-washing study received money from the 2009 economic stimulus law. The washing portion of the study is set to end in 2011.

“NIH Announces the Availability of Recovery Act Funds for Competitive Revision Applications,” the grant abstract states. “We propose to evaluate the feasibility of a post-coital genital hygiene study among men unwilling to be circumcised in Orange Farm, South Africa.”

Because AIDS researchers have been unsuccessful in convincing most adult African men to undergo circumcision, the UCLA study proposes to determine whether researchers can develop an after-sex genitalia-washing regimen that they can then convince uncircumcised African men to follow.

“The aim of the proposed feasibility study is to evaluate the feasibility and acceptability of a post-coital male genital hygiene procedure, which participants will be asked to practice immediately post-coitus or at least 12 hours after,” reads the abstract.

I don’t even know where to begin.

While it’s true that the twig-and-berries should be kept clean and that squeaky clean wedding tackle could indeed help reduce the spread of HIV and AIDS, perhaps instead of taking $823,200 in money from genuinely hurting American families and massaging it into the meat-and-two-bits of African men, such a study could be funded by the numerous AIDS-related charities in the landscape of the private sector.

When the American Recovery and Reinvestment Act came about, we were promised that it was about jobs here, about economic stimulus here, and about … well … reinvesting in the recovery of America.  As a man, I understand the value of giving the undercarriage a little looking-after, but as a taxpayer I am beyond angry that our money has been sent to Africa to scrub down private parts.

How many schools across this country are in need of extra textbooks?  How many miles of border fence still need to be completed?  There are numerous legitimate uses for $823,200 on both the federal and state level here in the United States of America — scrotal scrubs on the African subcontinent should not even enter into our priority list.



  1. Old Richard says:

    Sorry my friend about your title, there was a penis left behind;
    Obama is still here.

    Just sayin’

  2. At the czar wash says:

    Beans and franks!

    I want a couple grand to wash mine. Maybe Gore can recommend a masseuse.
    Our tax dollars at work.
    This money could have been spent on Pre-K iPads.

  3. Gail B. says:

    Why would students at UCLA care a feather or a fig (leaf?) about whether the hangy-downies of an African are clean or not? Why not those of Osama bin Ladin? Why not research the effects of hanging someone by their hangy-downies? — Someone like the pushy Iman Rauf, for example?

    I saw that story, too, Jeff. My eyes just rolled. How many jobs did it create–for STUDENTS?!

  4. Dee says:

    I read that this morning and wondered why the health organizations that go there were not teaching the African men about penile hygiene. Some of this stuff is so amazing and what’s sad is that it is not made up. This administration is a SNL skit!
    As you said there are so many more programs here in the US that could benefit from that money.

  5. World piece says:

    Come on people, don’t let a lil’ penis come between us.

  6. Anonymous says:

    While they’re over there ‘nosing’ around, have em keep an eye out for a BC.
    Now that would be worth 800,000…. several times over!

  7. Squeaky clean says:

    I bet you can really buy the soap in that picture, he is so idolized. (or is he, anymore?)

  8. Uncle Sam says:

    Speaking of cleaning up a mess that’s dangling…..

    PENSACOLA, Fla. – A federal judge said Tuesday he will likely dismiss only parts of a lawsuit by 20 states challenging the Obama administration’s health care overhaul as unconstitutional, though he didn’t specifically say what portions.

  9. Call me Dick says:

    Shoot, I am 58, why has anyone not told me to keep it clean?
    I bet all the unrepressed Marxists have shiny clean ones.

  10. Title 9 says:

    Discrimination!!!! what about the j-j’s ??????

  11. Anonymous says:

    I took this news hard.

  12. SB says:

    Better put that Obama soap, on a rope. They’re out to get us.

  13. Boston Blackie says:

    Well Obeyme did say this was a stimulas package, it is definately stimulating someone – too bad they’re in Africa. Ugh the imagine is seared into my mind!!

  14. Anonymous says:

    Obama soap must be like Lava soap. He really grates on me.

  15. Anonymous says:

    Take that bar of soap to NY. Charlie Rangel wins the primary. What a dirty state.

  16. whats_up says:

    I agree that there has been some waste within the stimulus package. But then there has been some waste within the money that we spent in Iraq as well, to the tune of billions. When you deal with govt there is going to be some waste. I think the goal should be to limit that waste. To be fair though if you are going to criticize the stimulus funding and demand an accounting of all the dollars, shouldnt we do the same for all the money that was simply thrown at Iraq?

  17. Anonymous says:

    I don’t think washing weenies compares to a world now without Saddam, Uday and Qusay.

  18. whats_up says:

    @ anon 12:09

    Way to miss the entire point. It goes to govt waste. Are you saying its okay to waste billions and not have it accounted for in Iraq? Are you actually okay with that?

  19. Anonymous says:

    1:08 You have more of a chip on your shoulder for Iraq than you do for waste, I am afraid.

  20. Anonymous says:

    Now ACORN, there is some waste. But the communist Buyon sings their praises.

  21. Gail B. says:

    I’d be skeptical of using a bar of soap with “Obama” embossed into it. I’d be afraid of where it had been–or had come from!


  1. [...] And golly, that would leave $299,980 extra, which can immediately be sent to Africa for junque-scrubbing purposes. [...]

  2. [...] And golly, that would leave $ 299,980 extra, which can immediately be sent to Africa for junque-scrubbing purposes. [...]

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