Are All Glenn Beck Critics Complete Idiots?

Huffington Post: The Trailer For Glenn Beck’s New Book Is Just As Nuts As You’d Expect

OK, inflammatory title, I know. I just needed to blow some steam of because I have – once again – come face to face with the extent to which bigotry causes people to be stupid.

The case in point involves the Huffington Post and Glenn Beck, so you know it’s got to be good. (And, for the record, my wife brought this one to my attention).

So, over here, is a Huffington Post piece that couldn’t wait for Glenn’s book to come out to begin criticizing it. Instead the piece tears into this teaser for Glenn Beck’s upcoming thriller.

The narration of the teaser is as follows:

As it will be in the future, it was at the birth of Man
There are only four things certain since Social Progress began.
That the Dog returns to his Vomit and the Sow returns to her Mire,
And the burnt Fool’s bandaged finger goes wabbling back to the Fire;

And that after this is accomplished, and the brave new world begins
When all men are paid for existing and no man must pay for his sins,
As surely as Water will wet us, as surely as Fire will burn,
The Gods of the Copybook Headings with terror and slaughter return!

Here’s what the H-Po has to say about those lines:

Needless to say, it’s just as crazy and ridiculous as you’d expected it to be.

The content of said trailer ups the ante with each over-the-top line. Upon hearing that Beck had written a thriller, it’s easy to assume it’s a thrill-ride about a chalkboard who was kidnapped because it loved America too much. Obviously.

But that’d be wayyyy off. With lines like “The dog returns to his vomit” and “The burnt fool’s bandaged finger goes wabbling back to the fire,” it’s very clear what this book is about. Nothing.

So first of all, “dog returns to his vomit” is a phrase I thought anyone should be able to recognize as coming from somewhere. That’s because it’s Proverbs 26:11: As a dog returneth to his vomit, so a fool returneth to his folly.. The burnt-finger line is along the same thing: people do stupid things even though it is stupid to do those things.

That’s not meaningless. It’s not vague. It’s not unclear. It’s a simple observation of fact.

Here’s what else I noticed about the voice-over: it was pretty damn fine writing.

Now so far you could argue that what we’ve got is just subjective. I like Glenn Beck, the H-Po does not so we’re just mutually biased. After all, the “Copybook Headings” means nothing to me, and so you could argue that it is vague/unclear in total, and liking writing is just that: a matter of taste. But – as I said – you’d think that someone would recognize the line from Proverbs as being from somewhere else and maybe take 2 seconds to google some of the other lines to see what’s up.

If they’d done this they would have learned something: Glenn Beck didn’t write these words.

Rudyard Kipling did. Yeah, some genius at the H-Po is so blinded by their hatred of Glenn Beck that they just wrote off a poem by one of the world’s most famous authors – and recipient of a Nobel Prize in literature – as a raving buffoon.

Here’s the complete poem, if you’re interested.

Now look, I haven’t read Beck’s book. I’m actually a little nervous because I like Glenn Beck but he does tend to go round the bend on a fairly regular basis, and so this book could be huge hit or terrible miss. Who knows?

All I do know is that looking down your long nose at some idiotic buffoon who turns out to be one of the most respected writers in the world makes you look like the biggest idiot of all. Way to go, H-Po. Way to go.

(I suppose the follow up will be: Glenn Beck plagiarizes!)



  1. Vincent L. Diaz says:

    I, too was puzzled by this reference to Kipling’s reference to the “Gods of the Copybook Heading”. I looked it up the the Net and found an explanation.

    “Copybooks” as I understand it, referred to an old fashion writing tablet or sheet, employed by younger students in Kipling’s time and much before. At the the top were examples of famous quotes and saying written in the more desired handwriting script of the day.

    The student practiced copying these quotes and saying over and over again in the sheet below, to help him learn the wisdom of these famous excerpts and at the same time perfect his own style of handwriting.

    As to the “Gods of the Copybook I found this reference on a site of the “Online Library of Liberty”. I found this reference in a page titled:

    Appendixes – Dane Starbuck, The Goodriches: An American Family [2001]

    “Pierre F. Goodrich often gave a copy of Rudyard Kipling’s poem “The Gods of the Copybook Headings” to friends and associates. The pamphlet he gave, which contained the poem, also included the following introduction.

    What are the foundations of our beliefs and actions? History has built the civilization we enjoy by accumulating small pebbles of wisdom based upon experience. Every once in a while, some misguided action tears down years or centuries of progress by ignoring or misunderstanding the basic truths that underlie all that has gone before.

    Rudyard Kipling, with his gift as a poet and prophet, has put this into focus in his poem, “The Gods of the Copybook Headings.” Although written in 1919, it is pertinent to the conditions that exist in the world today. His “Gods of the Copybook Headings” are, in effect, those rules of human conduct that are so well defined by centuries of experience that they have become immutable. To disregard them, says Kipling, will inevitably lead to failure and destruction.”

  2. Vincent L. Diaz says:

    As an addendum to my last posting. I thought your readership might want to see a modern incarnation of the old Copybook concept.

    I suspect this particular item and similar texts are very popular among the Home school market.

    Go to:

  3. John Buyon says:

    Glenn Beck is like that student who copies the answer off the kid next to him
    then makes up some BS work to prove to the teacher that he actually arrived at his answer through work.

  4. Shiloh TN says:

    “Are All Glenn Beck Critics Complete Idiots?”

    My brother now visiting from Beaufort, SC is. Him and his online degree and pompous attitude. A self professed socialist. I now see how the Civil War easily fueled itself.

  5. m00pa says:

    Hearing a barking dog; do you damn the dog for barking, or actually get up and see why it’s barking? / Seems most of Beck’s critics are ‘entrenched damners’, unable to see or hear anything other than the drone of thier newly chosen noise.

  6. Boston Blackie says:

    It sure didn’t take long for John Boy to prove your point (I suppose the follow up will be: Glenn Beck plagiarizes!).
    He is like a broken record, same ol’ song and dance. We could use him to interrogate terrorists. Five minutes listening to him and they would give up OBL’s cave in a heartbeat.

  7. Sound sleeping libs says:

    Paul Revere was simply delivering a message as well. Don’t mock the messengers.
    You best be listening to the news (TRUTH) they are delivering.

  8. John Buyon says:

    I will give you an example of Glenn Beck doing meticulously good historical digging for information but delivering completely incorrect answers.

    On his “revolutionary holocaust” video he tries to say the Nazis were socialists
    because they had a red flag or something of that sort.
    the truth however is diametrically opposed to that even though glenn did great job finding old documents.

    one the Nazi flag was red to make it look appealing and stand out as well as to make it LOOK LIKE THE red banner of the socialist/communist because he wanted votes for his party and if he had a red flag with a name National Socialist it would make German workers more likely to vote for him, or at least hear his ideas. it was a PR move
    Hitler was backed by the “German Big Bourgeoisie” the uber rich capitalist class that was scared of the soviet union and wanted to crush workers revolution of 1919. He was absolutely not a socialist in the sence of socialism for workers.

  9. Gail B. says:

    John Buyon says:
    June 13, 2010 at 12:09 am

    “Glenn Beck is like that student who copies the answer off the kid next to him then makes up some BS work to prove to the teacher that he actually arrived at his answer through work.”

    Yeah, yeah, John. Your comment explains why Glenn Beck stays up most of the night READING and has a national television show with record viewer numbers at 5 p.m.

    Come on, now–scratch your head and think a second: Do you really expect H-Po to give credence to anything that Glenn Beck does? Nooooo! H-Po has to make fun of him so the Progressives can have their sick liberal “fix” whenever they fear he is making headway, gaining ground, or winning over American voters to the conservative side.

    and, for the matter of Beck’s being “like that student who copies the answer off the kid next to him,” well, who might that kid next to him be? I know of no one who has the in-depth explanations that Beck gives EVERY DAY! He doesn’t have anyone to copy!

  10. Eh says:

    Is there a Canadian filter available for the comments section?

  11. Gail B. says:

    I know a Canadian, and she is smart. She knows our history better than many of us do. She was educated in Canadian schools. The only thing I can figure is — she stayed awake during her classes!

  12. John Buyon says:

    Glenn copies his BS ideas from left over cold war hysteria about
    “Marxist, Fascists, Socialists, Progressives eating the constitution”
    put forward by deranged group called the John Birch society and the cook known as Cleon Skousen

  13. Hopeless says:

    John Buyon, the most simplistic mind I have ever run across.

  14. See no truth, hear no truth, speak no truth says:

    Just as with my brother, now John Buyon, you can tell immediately if someone does not actually watch and listen to Glenn, consistently. He is probably glued to MSNBC.

  15. John Buyon says:

    how about you try and debunk what I said in my previous 3 comments? why don’t you because you can’t. And you are too afraid to even put your real name instead you put cheesy one liners.
    I watched GB’s “revolutionary holocaust” documentary and was astounded that he knew things that I learned only after intensive study of the 1920′s-1940′s but his conclusions are almost all wrong.
    ie. Nazis being friends with socialists and commies.
    red flag
    progressives being friendly with mussolini.
    liberal fascism
    these claims are all so unbelievable absurd I am amazed he derives these from the relatively well documented 1920′s .

  16. One liner, tonight only says:

    ramblings doth not truth make

  17. Baby Einstein says:

    3:01, we know that nobody is smarter than you, you can quit telling us.

  18. John Buyon says:

    @ 11:11
    facts figures and argument doth make true.

  19. Joe W says:

    To john Buyon I say this; national socialism, communism, progressivism, are all similar in that they are collectivist systems whereby a a small group of elites within or by permission from the coercive body (government) make economic decisions for the masses consistent with their notions about what is good for the common good. The result is usually the same; “as surely as Water will wet us, as surely as Fire will burn, The Gods of the Copybook Headings with terror and slaughter return!”

  20. fuckhead says:

    You’re a fucking idiot and so is Glenn Douchebag Beck.

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