Mirror, Mirror On The Wall … Who is Culpable, After All?

So, as we speak, the Guy from Southside Chicago–known in some circles as the president of the United States, and in others yet as Marxism’s Greatest Hope–is vigorously searching for the person responsible for the rapidly expanding oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico so that he will know precisely “whose ass to kick.”

Don’t you just love the elevated prose emanating from the White House now that endlessly inarticulate former President George W. Bush is out of there and back in Crawford, Texas? That’s a “change” all right. Amazing what a Harvard education will do for you.

Nevertheless, the president’s search should be brief. If he’s looking for a spot to plant his foot, the solution is simple:

  1. Start at his own mouth.
  2. Drop down about two feet.
  3. Do a 180-degree turn.
  4. Step back about one foot and do another 180-degree turn.

Voila!! The posterior in question is none other than the Posterior of the United States of America.  After performing steps one through four, there he should find his own gluteus maximus (that’s Latin for “buttocks,” for those of us not educated at Harvard). He could even get a full length mirror to assist in the targeting function. Who knows — perhaps the First Lady could be of some assistance.

All kidding aside, Barack Obama should unequivocally be the prime target for Barack Obama’s synthetic and contrived wrath, since it is he, the apparatchiks in his regime and his sycophants in this Congress who have decreed that drilling for oil can never take place in shallow waters in the Gulf but must instead be driven out into waters over a mile deep, where the spill now gushes. Perhaps the brilliant Charles Krauthammer summarized the lunacy best in a recent piece entitled Whose Blowout Is It, Anyway? A few tidbits:

Heres my question: Why are we drilling in 5,000 feet of water in the first place?

Many reasons, but this one goes unmentioned: Environmental chic has driven us out there. As production from the shallower Gulf of Mexico wells declines, we go deep (1,000 feet and more) and ultra deep (5,000 feet and more), in part because environmentalists have succeeded in rendering the Pacific and nearly all the Atlantic coast off-limits to oil production. (President Obama’s tentative, selective opening of some Atlantic and offshore Alaska sites is now dead.) And of course, in the safest of all places, on land, weve had a 30-year ban on drilling in the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge.

There will always be catastrophic oil spills. You make them as rare as humanly possible, but where would you rather have one: in the Gulf of Mexico, upon which thousands depend for their livelihood, or in the Arctic, where there are practically no people? All spills seriously damage wildlife. Thats a given. But why have we pushed the drilling from the barren to the populated, from the remote wilderness to a center of fishing, shipping, tourism and recreation?

It is that lunacy which has doomed the Gulf.  It is that lunacy which once again has the president wielding a tough facade.  And it is that lunacy which was only outdone by The Chosen One’s most recent verbal nugget.  Hope and change has given way, it seems, to assault and battery.

Had the BP disaster occurred at a place easier to reach and repair, the likelihood is that the spill would have been capped far sooner and the oil confined to a far smaller area. No soiled beaches. No oil-slicked pelicans. No decimation of the fishing and tourist industries along the Gulf Coast.

Ah, but the opportunity to blame others for the damage created by his own policies–the signature hallmark of the regime now in charge–proved too much. We must renew the search for a scapegoat … so long as the scapegoat is not a Democrat or a prominent campaign donor.

On the other hand, while one might speculate that placing a swift kick where it belongs may be a bit difficult, anatomically speaking, since the president has already displayed extraordinary acrobatic skill at scraping and bowing to other world “leaders” and inserting his own foot into his mouth with accelerating frequency since capturing the office he holds, perhaps his task will be easier. Practice makes perfect.

In the meantime, however, if landing the kick himself proves too difficult, there are probably a lot of other folks who’d be willing to stand in line to volunteer.

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Comments

  1. Boston Blackie says:

    May I be the first to step up and volunteer before this becomes like the deli on a Saturday morning – now serving #3 as you stand there holding #87. But it would certainly be worth the wait!
    Next time you hear James Carville ranting about needing help in LA.(which we all agree is too little,too late at this point) just google GCS and Rahm Emanuel’s rent free D.C. apartment. Check out who GCS stands for and who their largest client is…. that’s right – BP!!
    Carville and the rest should also look in the mirror. Or are we to believe that George Bush is to blame because he did not outlaw mirrors.
    Just a random thought, do you think Obeyme ever kicked anyone’s arze!?!

  2. Chuck Harrison says:

    Your logic is completely INSANE!!! You can’t honestly think that enviornmentalists prefer drilling in 5,000 feet vs on land. I think you must be a freakin retard or a Republican who is rejoicing in this spill.

  3. Sam says:

    I feel a country song coming on….
    Lookin’ For Oil In All The Wrong Places.

    I was lookin’ for oil in all the wrong places
    Lookin’ for oil in too many spaces
    Searching the gulf, lookin’ for traces
    Of what.. I’m drilling for…
    Hopin’ to find on the seafloor a gusher
    God bless the day they quit ANWR
    Another day, lookin’ for oil

  4. Anonymous says:

    After the Iraq war and Saddam’s temper tantrum where he blew up hundreds of oil wells on land, our ingenuity quickly set about stopping their spewing and fires.

    Lets drill on land, fools, when we can.

    Kick your own danged arse Obama. And Pelosi’s while you’re at it.

  5. whats_up says:

    Please Rick, spare us that this is somehow Obama’s fault. The people of this country collectivly decided through their elected representatives that they didnt want oil rigs close to shore. That is how the American system works my friend, if you dont like it you have the opportunity to elect politicians that think like you do. However the only people responsible is BP, end of story.

  6. Anonymous says:

    4:58

    Libs sure love that classless R word.

  7. Anonymous says:

    4:58, is that you, Rahm?

  8. Anonymous says:

    That Erkel graphic is P R I C E L E S S.

  9. Toddler v President says:

    To the Ass Kicker-In-Chief

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dTSKbBNZ6bs

  10. Anonymous says:
  11. nana3 says:

    Bravo, Rick… and Sam I love the song and Up-Chuck your wonderful, compassionate environmentalists would rather protect a minnow in CA than allow the farmers to have water. BP is responsible for this mess but Obama’s response was unsatisfactory to say the least. He can point fingers at everyone at the same time he tells school children to accept responsibility and don’t blame others…what a joke! There should have been a massive plan to contain this oil and plug the well already in place in the event of an accident. I live on the coast and NO I don’t relish the picture of wells closer in but logic tells you the easier they are to access, the quicker we can minimize the damage. If we can’t pursue domestic energy exploration on LAND, what is our option? I agree that through the VOTE, we must restore some sanity in our government so the upcoming elections are tremendously important. I hope we kick the AZZ out of DC and all the dimwits with him as well as the ‘phoney’ conservatives! I do wonder what Obama sees when he looks in the mirror, does his mirror reflect the TRUTH?

    Mirror, mirror on the wall
    Who’s the vilest one of all
    Is it I the Great Deceiver
    Who, with a smile charms each believer?

    Mirror, mirror on the wall
    What awaits to cause my fall
    TRUTH revealed can thwart my quest
    If patriots will stand and meet the test

  12. Linda B. says:

    Obama is culpable since he promised the American public to wean us off of oil and onto alternative energy. The problem is most of the alternative energy solutions are not so simple and are costly. Since the public requires fuel to survive during the winter months, there has to be fuel and it is oil. Oil rigs drill where oil is available and obviously it is at this 5,000 foot level making it difficult to immediately end a leak. However, if all resources were used and not just BP perhaps this would have ended. I am not an oil expert so I do not know what caused the leak why the technology BP is using is not working well, but what I do know is this will impact the American taxpayer. Everyone will pay more for fuel oil or other heating sources because Obama believes in is spreading everything including this disaster and clean-up and oh, by the way many of the companies poised to do this work are affiliated with him.

    There are alternatives available gas lines could use hydrogen and this is an umlimited supply. The problem is hydrogen is also a more volatle gas. Solar is also available, but you still need a back up source when the sun is not shining enough to provide you power. Also, the cost to install is pretty high. However, many strides are being made in this area. My brother-in-law is a physicist and the head of the GE alternative energy section. He has devised a product that is one stop shopping a system with the solar cells imbedded in tiles or roofing products and you don’t need an electrician, plummer, etc. for installation. Builders in California and other states are installing these solar tiles and systems into the houses they build. It is more difficult for current residences, but not impossible. However, you have to have a roof with a southern exposure to the sun to be effective.

    I seriously question the ability of Obama to respond to any crisis. Look how long it took him to agree to a strategy in Afganistan. After all he has so many people to consult and so many Tsars. Look how he has handled the financial crisis…print more money and continue to spend because if we don’t spend we will crash. Guess what, Europe followed the same philosophy and is crashing. Look at his response to the illegal immigration problem … blame Arizona for attempting to enforce federal regulations and protecting her citizens and borders. Negate the rights of U.S. citizens over illegal immigrants.

    Every response from Obama with the exception of pushing his agenda and legislation on the American people falls short of the mark. Responsibility, honor, character and proven leadership are not values people cherish anymore in their leaders. It is charisma, ability to speak, stage presence, charm and personal image that count so you get a $19,000,000 billion dollar bill and interest for your choice.

  13. IMPORTANT says:
  14. T.I.M. says:

    Perhaps B.O. was frustrated as he didn’t have the foreigner du jour to verbally attack our country on his behalf. After Calderon and McCartney, who’s next –
    Kim Jong-Il?

    If he really wants to kick some ass, he can start with the party whose mascot just happens to be one.

  15. Anonymous says:

    4:58

    The only people who would rejoice in an oil spill, would be persons who love a good crisis. IMHO

  16. Duncan says:

    and a manufactured crisis at that . . . wait . . . what timing the spill had with just a few days earlier the announcement to allow more offshore drilling that was so quickly rescinded.

  17. Anonymous says:

    I know an elephant, and/or tea party, that’s gonna kick some ass come November.

  18. Anonymous says:

    I sincerely hope Obama hasn’t totally ruined it for persons of color wanting to be president in the future. This ‘reign’ has been an embarrassment.

  19. Anonymous says:

    http://news.yahoo.com/video/us-15749625/one-town-protects-itself-from-oil-spill-20233214

    “We’ll ask for forgiveness later from the Feds”
    Ha Ha Ha Ha …. I LOVE THAT SPIRIT

  20. Superficial voter says:

    If you’re gonna walk the beach, at least do it in your trunks Barry….. your abs are so dreamy.

  21. John Buyon says:

    you know what I’m going to be just as insane as the guy who wrote this article

    I blame Dick Cheney for this
    why? because he set in stage the greatest deregulation of the oil sector ever.
    the most under reported part of the oil spill story is that a $500000 remote access Acoustic trigger could have prevented the spill. ( and you say the media is liberal )
    why did BP not put this in?
    because Cheney and his cronies told the big oil companies that $500,000 could be better spent on CEO bonuses or to pad a 30 Billion dollar profit.
    how’d you like me now “free market deregulating” goofs.

  22. Anonymous says:

    Looks like Buynow is on work release again.

  23. Ms Jones 3rd grade science class says:

    Didn’t global warming overheat that rig causing the explosion?

  24. Anonymous says:

    Speak to ANWR Mr Genius Buynow.

  25. Randy Wills says:

    “John Buyon” @ 8:38 PM:

    Interesting input, but do we know that this “converstion” between Cheney and “big oil” actually took place”? I would have thought that it would be Congress, as our national regulators, who made such determinations. And has the said “Acoustic Trigger” device (and I’ll have to admit that I don’t know that such a device even exists, other than in verbal form) ever been successfully put to the test in a similar situation?

    I would be very skeptical of saying unequivocally that something “could have prevented the spill” if it’s never been tried under similar conditions. And as a matter of fact, there were mechanical devices in place that “should” have prevented the blow-out from reaching such disastrous proportions, but, for whatever reason, they failed.

    In any case, if the cause was dereliction of duty on the part of any of those responsible for such a disaster, they should be held accountable.

    Randy

  26. roadrunner says:

    It must be George W’s fault. Yah! That must be it! We are all still pointing fingers at everyone except who is truly to blame. Logic tells us that when we know that any exploration can cause damage, we still choose to go underwater to do it, because it might offend someone to put a well down the road from their own abode. But, no matter who is at fault, it should be painfully obvious to us all that there is NOT a living creature on the planet who knows how to stop it. That, my friends, is the first example of greed! “Do what you have to do to make money no matter if you’re prepared for the worst or not!”

    This administration wants energy independence, but doesn’t have a clue how to safely go about getting there. We will never replace the need for crude overnight and, until that happens, we need to go after it in the safest places, in the safest way and with all remedies in mind and on the table if something like this happens. That’s the insurance that this government built into regulation. Unfortunately, they also failed to hold BPs feet to the fire since day one!

    I agree with Obama. Stop drilling in the ocean. Put the well in my back yard. That’s a much better place. Seriously!

  27. John Buyon says:

    If you guys didn’t understand my original comment I apologize.
    Let me be clear
    I was merely mocking Rick who said that environmentalist are to blame
    ( ie picking a random bogeyman of the far right to blame)

    so I was going to be just as stupid as rick by blaming a random bogeyman of the left ( ie dick Cheney)
    did you get that?

  28. Randy Wills says:

    Sorry, John. My bad. I didn’t recognize that your post was a spoof because it sounded so familiar, coming from the left. I was just trying to be nice and “nudge” you towards fact-based conversation.

    Randy

  29. Dee says:

    Several days ago I asked myself what I would have done about the oil spill if I were President and had no experience in dealing with such situations. The answer I gave myself was that I would have called an emergency meeting asap for all those companies, individuals and countries who had expertise in containing spills. I would have asked them to brainstorm and come up with viable solutions that could work together. I would have considered all plans and selected the best most workable ones and then I would have done what was needed to implement them asap. I see none of this coming from BO and I heard today that many countries have offered to help but have been turned down due to some law (can’t remember the name now) that BO could override. Rather than trying to find someone to blame why not find someone who can help. BP has a place on their website for people to submit ideas and suggestions. At least they are looking for solutions and suggestions. Accidents can occur in any business. I do find the timing quite coincidental with BO’s approving off shore drilling. If we were permitted to drill on land or closer to shore where the water is not so deep it is very possible that this would be over by now.
    Hi to John Buyon.

  30. John Buyon says:

    @ Dee :
    you make it seem as if the president just sits around and does nothing while having complete power over everything.
    he has lots of stuff to worry about from economics to wars to global diplomatic efforts and more plus he isn’t god or a dictator he can’t just take over BP and direct them as he wishes.
    the government is so weak powerless and feeble because 30 years of a retarded ideology has decimate governments abilities to do anything.
    P.S. Your comment implies that environmentalist are at fault. you think enviro ppl want offshore drilling?
    are you that brain dead?
    oil companies already have leases to millions of acres of land in the US landmass to do exploration yet they are so greedy and corrupt they want even more.
    If the platform was located closer to shore the oil would have reached kansas by day 50 with no chance of evacuation or emergency efforts.
    amazing keep coming back american conservatives I will wipe the floor with you every single time.

  31. Rahm Buyon says:

    12:49 “the government is so weak powerless and feeble because 30 years of a retarded ideology has decimate governments abilities to do anything.”

    If I only had a dollar every time they relish using the classless R word.

  32. Monsenior Dingleberry says:

    “I will wipe the floor with you every single time.”

    Oh my gosh, I love that one.

  33. Dee says:

    John Buyon, thank you for pointing out how “brain dead” I am. I never said that BO did not have other things to worry about. I was under the impression that when you ran for President that you understood that it was a 24/7 job and there would be catastophic events that would leave little time for diversionary activities. I also was under the impression that those who run for President would realize that they may not know everything about everything and therefore surround themselves with people who have some experience in the different fields you mentioned and if that were not possible, at least know where and who to go to for some answers. I also thought that before the President would approve such things as off shore drilling that he and his cabinet would cover all bases for the “what if this happens” and be prepared for the worst. It did slip my “brain dead” mind how many wonderful jobs BO has created. The only jobs that I am aware of that government creates are government jobs, funded by those working in the private sector who pay taxes. It also slipped my “brain dead” mind of the respectful treatment BO has paid to our allies and the wonderful friendships he has created with our enemies all the while displaying his pride in and love for the country he was elected to represent. I guess it was his accusatory dialogue that threw me off track. Thank you for your brilliant command of things and your friendly nature to set me straight. It is always a pleasure, John.

  34. John Buyon says:

    @ Dee
    Obama’s foreign policy is genius.
    he has thawed relations with Russia
    invited indian leader to dine with him
    “mocked” Israel so that he could get some “street cred” in the Islamic world to help him with peace agreement.
    his Cairo speech and his Islamic name makes him popular and diffuses the seething anti-Americanism in the mid east.

    Keynesian economics does work look up the “golden age of capitalism” on Wikipedia to see the state of economic performance in the Keynesian era 1940′s-1975ish
    compared to performance in the milton friedman free market era 1980-2005ish
    plus the great depression could have been solved earlier if the new deal wasn’t dismantled by the supreme court in 1937 and if the conservative coalition didnt block FDR’s economic reforms in incidentally 1937 when the economy stopped improving and crashed again.
    LOOK IT UP my friend. :) look it up

  35. mmm mmmm mmmmmm says:

    TOTUS crush at 1:12

  36. Boston Blackie says:

    ‘Keynesian economics does work look up the “golden age of capitalism” on Wikipedia’

    John Boy- That comment just answered all my nagging questions about you. You get your info from Wikipedia!?! hahaha Wikipedia!!!

  37. Dee says:

    John Buyon, I do hope that you read more than one article regarding Keynesian economics. I would not believe everything that Wikipedia says. A very simple article expressing a different viewpoint is American Thinker: The Keynesian Stimulus Dogma, written 3/7/10 by a professor of economics at Grove City College. I read your suggestion and had read many more previously, now I hope you will read my suggestion. One article I had read stated that Keynesian economics clearly believes in redistribution of wealth. I don’t know about you but I will redistribute my hard earned dollars of my own free will to those I chose to give to.
    Thanks for your input.

  38. Wikinuck says:

    Wow, Canada has internet??? !!!

  39. John Buyon says:

    first I am studying economics so don’t get into an economics argument with me unless you know what you are talking about please.

    @ Boston Blackie
    for idiots who believe Wikipedia is some liberal conspiracy :
    # ^ “1957: Britons ‘have never had it so good’”. BBC. 1957-07-20. http://news.bbc.co.uk/onthisday/hi/dates/stories/july/20/newsid_3728000/3728225.stm. Retrieved 2009-03-12.
    # ^ Sloman, John (2004). Economics. Penguin. p. 811.
    # Marglin, Stephen A.; Schor, Juliet B. (1992), The Golden Age of Capitalism: Reinterpreting the Postwar Experience, Oxford University Press,
    http://www.us.oup.com/us/catalog/general/subject/Economics/History/?view=usa&ci=9780198287414.
    1. ^ Middleton, Roger (2000). The British Economy Since 1945. Palgrave Macmillan. p. 3. ISBN 0333684834.
    2. ^ a b c Robert Skidelsky (2009). Keynes: The return of the Master. Allen Lane. p. 116, 126. ISBN 9781846142581.

    some references that Wikipedia article had.
    the site isn’t Glenn becks studio where any idea could be presented as truth.
    just think about that era anecdotaly the 1940′s-1975 period was when the middle class was made. when normal working people started getting houses in the suburbs, automobiles, TV sets etc… some of you might be old enough to remember that time.

    @ Dee
    the article that you directed me to misunderstands Keynesianism very badly and seems like it was written by a guy who gut 51% in his econ class

    1. “Government stimulus spending, by prolonging and propping up unwanted, uneconomic production, is inherently counterproductive”
    the stimulus did not prolong or add to unwanted demand it added to the total demand and no money was taken out of the hands of the public because there were tax cuts in the plan.
    2. during the depression which happened under a republican conservative president and was NOT solved in his term even though he had 4 years
    ( crash is 1929 FDR president in 1933) look up the graphs for unemployment, GDP and government spending. this is what you notice…
    from 1933- 1936 economy comes back ferociously unemployment drops from 22% to 13%
    THEN! what happens short sighted republicans and conservative democrats get together and put a stop to FDR’S spending programs then! the supreme court declares large parts of the New deal unconstitutional.
    SO what happens?
    unemployment shoots back up immediately from 13% to 17%
    saying Keynesianism is wrong is so absurd it is nearly ridiculous.
    when was the depression over? 1945 WHEN after 4 years of the federal government spending 2.5 Trillion $ the economy finally restarts.
    plus how come Germany a country much weaker than USA could rebuild itself in only 5 years to get the strongest army best economy and 1% unemployment? because when the Nazis came in the spent huge on building the autobahns as well as rearming the nation.
    if anything history is on Keynes side not Hayek’s
    3. Government IS absolutely way more inefficient that the market place that is true. But the stimulus was just the government spending money and giving tax cuts and putting $$$ into lower income peoples hands and since their Marginal propensity to consume is higher than richer people, that money would be spent faster and faster.
    4. higher debt would stimulate higher interest rates thus making more incentive for citizens to lend money to their governments the capital markets are “bottomless wells” the interest rate is 3.9 percent for a T-bill extremly low historically speaking.

    I would redistribute your wealth if you make more than $250,000 a year by hiking your taxes 5-10% to finance government spending
    seeing though I doubt you make that much I would give you a tax cut or a tax rebate so that you could buy a new car refurbish your home with energy saving technologies etc… that way the Government prompts you to spend a little bit to kickstart the economy.

    sorry for the long comment but I told you economics is my specialty. :)

  40. Old School says:

    9:51 should maybe try and squeeze in a typing class.
    And a constitutional studies class wouldn’t hurt.

  41. Gail B. says:

    Chuck Harrison says:
    June 8, 2010 at 4:58 pm

    “Your logic is completely INSANE!!! You can’t honestly think that enviornmentalists prefer drilling in 5,000 feet vs on land. I think you must be a freakin retard or a Republican who is rejoicing in this spill.”

    Look in the mirror, Chuck, and get your dunce cap on straight!

    o They didn’t DRILL 5,000 feet; they drilled 5,000 feet BELOW THE SURFACE OF THE WATER…because environmentalists did not favor drilling in shallow waters. It’s the “Powers that Be” who were at fault, including the head of Minerals Management Services and her staff, who are under OBAMA’s watch.

    o They said that they have performed the stop-leak procedure before, BUT NEVER AT THIS DEPTH. The depth is the problem in stopping the leak. Go figure–would water depth be a problem ON LAND?

    o If anyone is “rejoicing,” as you said, it would be the Obama administration, which “never lets a crisis go to waste,” in their own words.

    o I also agree with Charles Krauthammer–I heard him say on Fox News that Obama needs something to calm his nerves, and Dr. Krauthammer would be happy to write a prescription for Valium for the president!

    o I wish there were a “smart pill” that you could take, but then, you just can’t fix “stupid.”

    o I wish the current regime would listen to the American CITIZENS, too; but there’s not a cure for stiff necks in power.

  42. Dee says:

    John Buyon, you have no idea how much money I make or have. I’m glad you are studying economics, maybe you could teach BO a thing or two. Don’t forget to always look at the other side. Sometimes you learn something. The man who wrote the article is a Professor of economics, just like BO is a Professor, not a student. The college he teaches at is very respected.

  43. John Buyon says:

    @ Gail B

    Joe Barton, that is all I need to say.
    Welcome to the Republican Party a wholly owned subsidiary of the military-industrial complex and Big Oil. No gays minorities and secularists allowed.

  44. BP.. Baracks Pocketbook says:

    While the BP oil geyser pumps millions of gallons of petroleum into the Gulf of Mexico, President Barack Obama and members of Congress may have to answer for the millions in campaign contributions they’ve taken from the oil and gas giant over the years.

    BP and its employees have given more than $3.5 million to federal candidates over the past 20 years, with the largest chunk of their money going to Obama, according to the Center for Responsive Politics. Donations come from a mix of employees and the company’s political action committees — $2.89 million flowed to campaigns from BP-related PACs and about $638,000 came from individuals.

  45. John Buyon says:

    @ 11:33
    true that Obama gets contributions from the oil sector, but it doesn’t mean he is owned by them.

    1. for every 1$ given by big business to left wing parties $6 are given to right wing parties

    2. the question you must ask is where are his loyalties? and they are obviously not with the oil companies. He just took $ 20 Billion from them with a smile and a wink. so he is clearly on the peoples side not the oil companies side.

    3. evidence by Joe Barton it is the right wing that is a PR arm of the oil sector.

  46. Anonymous says:

    It was an executive shakedown, tho politically stupid to point it out. It was obvious anyway. I thought the judicial is where damages are awarded.

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