Birthday Wishes for Speaker Pelosi

Dear Speaker Pelosi,

It is near impossible to find a “Happy Birthday to the Woman Who Ruined My Country” greeting card in the local drugstore, so this letter will have to do.  I hope you don’t mind.

You know, Madame Speaker, it’s a good thing that Hallmark’s “Animosity” section is so threadbare, because this letter has been a long time in the making.  It is the culmination of not only my own patience beginning to boil over but, as shown by your recent 11 percent job approval rating, also the patience of a vast majority of the American populace as well. You, Madame Pelosi, will not limit me to one vote; if, indeed, there is any truth to the old adage, “The Pen is Mightier than the Sword,” then we’re about to find out.

Let me be very clear, Mrs. Pelosi: my mission in life is now solely dedicated to influencing, in any way that I possibly can, your removal from office. Strong words from an insignificant man in the smallest state in the union, I know, but you are a threat to America and, as shown this week as you forced through an unconstitutional bill and triumphantly trampled over the individual liberties of 300 million Americans, a domestic enemy of America’s Constitution.  And best yet, birthday girl, is the reality that everyone–save the mindless automatons who blindly follow you–knows it.

Most importantly, though, you’re a threat to something even more precious to me – my son’s future happiness. Apparently, in your desperate, tunnel-visioned attempts to take power in megalomaniacal style, you have badly lost sight of a fundamental truth about life: never get in the way of a parent trying to protect his child. It’s a losing proposition, each and every time.

Of course, please understand that unlike the throngs on the left who made movies about the hypothetical assassination of George W. Bush and cheered when an irate Iraqi hurled a loafer at him, I would never wish any physical harm to come to you or your Democratic Party flunkies — I just want you to go back to your swank vineyards and stay there. Forever. Right beside all the “low-cost” labor that you have picking your grapes and holding them over your head for you. I think, however, that the single most pressing question which–believe it or not–occasionally keeps me awake at night concerns the source of your unbalanced mindset.

Where did it ever come from?  Inevitably, I always come back to one, single, solitary word:

Woodstock.  Seriously, Woodstock.  I mean, think of the mind-altering drugs!

See, I’ve been trying to do a lot of crazy math lately — you and yours have forced me into my dingy little basement, where I’ve been wearing my little accounting visor and using my little tickertape calculator, and the funny thing is that each time I run the numbers on your wonderful health care plan, they just don’t add up. I mean, I’m no Congressional Budget Office expert or anything like that, but I worked on a lot of math like this in high school. I actually did pretty well, too. All I can figure is that the Progressive Caucus–and, of course, since they’re “liberals” I can only assume that they’re brilliant–must be using the “new math.”

I remember hearing about that in the third grade, I think, but I never really took to it, so I guess I’ll have to plead mathematical ignorance here. In any event, I mention math because I’ve been told that you turn 70 years old today.  Well, when I subtract 42, I arrive at 28 (at least in the old math). That’s a bit old to have found oneself at Woodstock–I think, anyway–since many young adults are generally coming into their own as mature, reasonable individuals by that time. Then again, “mature” and “reasonable” are two things that you decidedly are not, even at 70. Based on the behavior of yourself, Mr. Reid and Mr. Obama, I can only conclude that you were all at Max Yasgur’s farm 42 years ago, or at the very least you have been greatly influenced by the culture of that time period. (Again, the mind-altering drugs.)  Now that I think about it, though, Mr. Obama couldn’t have been at Woodstock as he would only have been seven years old and, clearly, no respectable parent would have ever allowed a young, innocent, impressionable child to experience such a festival of personal degradation.  The mind-altering drugs, after all, could have come later.

If not Woodstock, where else might you have developed your perspective, that outlook grounded in an intent to destroy the Unites States of America as we know it? I’m really very concerned, about both you and your colleagues — from where does such a bottomless well of anger spring?  The way I look at it–and, of course, we both know that I’m not nearly as intelligent as someone the likes of you, or Billy Ayers, or Bill Maher–I can only see three immediate possibilities: an outlandish sense of elitism (which, ironically, is the very thing that you attack in order to turn the lower classes against the producers of society), a sense of sheer entitlement as a result of having been born with a silver spoon in your mouth or, quite possibly, being one of many children born to communist parents. Perhaps it’s all three. I don’t know, and in the bigger picture I honestly don’t care. I only know one thing: it’s time for you to go.

We’ve all been privy to some truly corrupt politicians in our life, Mrs. Pelosi, but you and your “comrades” are, quite honestly, breathtaking in the scope of your utter disregard for time-honored parliamentary procedure and complete disdain for the United States Constitution. You and all of the other Progressives continue to figuratively “poke” the American people in the chest, desperately trying to pick a fight. Well, you’ve succeeded. You’ve been foolish enough to wake up the American people, and if it’s a fight you want then it’s a fight you’ll get. Just remember two things: we never asked for this fight, and be careful what you wish for.

The liberal mindset is nothing more than that of a petulant child, one who has never gotten his way with his parents, and one who consequently throws tantrums. How else would you explain the behavior of a group of people who not only refuse to accept responsibility for their own actions but who also teach others that shifting blame and avoiding accountability is the proper way to live? Let me ask you this – when was the last time you saw a violent demonstration from a group of conservatives?

Tantrums, indeed.

Before I let you return to your cake and ice cream and brainstorming sessions about how best to further undermine the ideas and ideals upon which this nation was founded, let me close with two thoughts.

First, as crazy as it might sound, when I think of you and your caucus, I think of Dr. Seuss.  Specifically his book, How the Grinch Stole Christmas, which carries an incredibly relevant lesson for both sides of this battle. At the end of the story, the Grinch finally realizes that Christmas and the spirituality at its center is not something that can be held or touched – it’s an idea. The people of Whoville, despite having had their Christmas “taken away” in a material sense by the Grinch, still come together as brothers and sisters. You see, Mrs. Pelosi, America is an idea–or, better yet, an ideal–that you will never be able to defeat. You may succeed for a short time in trying to physically break apart what exists between borders and its economic infrastructure, but you can never defeat an idea. You’ll be waging an endless battle, one that may consume people for generations to come; in the end, it’s a battle that you’ll never, ever, be able to win. I really don’t think you want to start turning ordinary American citizens into martyrs.

The second item with which I’d like to leave you is this: the full version of the “Star-Spangled Banner.”  Corny, I know, but humor me — I tend to think that not many people have heard. Enjoy.

O! say can you see by the dawn’s early light
What so proudly we hailed at the twilight’s last gleaming?
Whose broad stripes and bright stars through the perilous fight,
O’er the ramparts we watched were so gallantly streaming?
And the rockets’ red glare, the bombs bursting in air,
Gave proof through the night that our flag was still there.
Oh, say does that star-spangled banner yet wave
O’er the land of the free and the home of the brave?

O! thus be it ever, when freemen shall stand
Between their loved home and the war’s desolation!
Blest with victory and peace, may the heav’n rescued land
Praise the Power that hath made and preserved us a nation.
Then conquer we must, when our cause it is just,

And this be our motto: ‘In God is our trust.’
And the star-spangled banner in triumph shall wave
O’er the land of the free and the home of the brave!

I’d truly like to meet you some day, Madame Speaker. I’m fairly certain that such an occasion will likely never occur, however, simply because you lack the courage to stand face-to-face with a real American citizen who will look back at you with a firm belief in his convictions and in the freedom of the individual. As people burdened with the mindset of a child, cowardice tends to be an integral personal characteristic, one that naturally lends itself to trying to do things to others under the cover of darkness. Sound familiar? It should. It’s you.

Have your people call my people. I’ll be waiting in quivering anticipation. Best of luck in the future and, sincerely, happy birthday.

Respectfully Yours,

John J. Feeny



  1. 11 percentage points too many says:

    Nancy Pelosi, a Clear and Present Danger.

  2. Sam says:

    In the spirit of Pelosi and her House, I am going to buy her a birthday cake with your money.

  3. Anonymous says:

    Can someone take little Nancy to Chuck-E-Cheese-Beijing for her birthday, and leave her there?

  4. nana says:

    My sentiments exactly, John!!

    Lipstick on a Piglosi

    Today is a day of mourning
    As we greet your birthdate with scorning
    Lipstick on a pig will not hide the facts
    That your face has been frozen in botox and wax
    Seventy years and you keep giving us reason
    To impeach your butt and try you for treason
    May the road rise to meet you when you are run out of town
    As the patriots step up and take you DOWN!!

  5. whats_up says:

    John said:

    your utter disregard for time-honored parliamentary procedure and complete disdain for the United States Constitution.

    John with all due respect, rehtoric like this, which is stretching the truth quite a bit, is not condusive to the discussion. Lets keep in mind that every use of parliamentary procedure was done before, by both parties, for years. Dont act like it was some crazy scheme that has never been done before. If you want to have an honest conversation, fine, lets have one. Spouting blatant falsehoods isnt good for the discussion or your credibility.

  6. Boston Blackie says:

    Boy, did you just ruin my day. Today is also my husband’s birthday and I will forever remember it was Dominatrix Pelosi’s as well. I would love for her to actually read your open letter but you would then have the guys with the little ear plugs coming to arrest you for a hate speach. Never mind, you would be audited yearly FOREVA!!
    “Mr. Obama couldn’t have been at Woodstock as he would only have been seven years old and, clearly, no respectable parent would have ever allowed a young, innocent, impressionable child to experience such a festival of personal degradation.”
    John, It wouldn’t surprise me if the Messiah was at Woodstock. Read up on on his mother and as well as his maternal grandparents and you might come away with that conclusion at well.

  7. sadfsdf says:


  8. Uncle Sam says:

    I don’t know how I cam across this site, but I just wanted to say you’re an idiot. Thanks!

  9. Uncle Joe says:

    Sir you are a fool.

  10. John Feeny says:

    What’s Up -
    I’m curious….can you research for me the last time something as massive as the altering of 1/6 of the nation’s economy was done on reconciliation? It seems the founding fathers embedded the 41-59 notion deliberately to avoid such a scenario. But what did they know?

    As for my credibility, I’m quite comfortable.

    Moron? Maybe…my wife thinks so.

  11. While most of her turned 70, the botox in her face had a kiddie party at chuckie cheese or some other age appropriate place.

  12. William A. Rose says:

    Some interesting comments in here.

  13. Donna McCoy says:

    I am standing up and cheering this letter. Any TRUE American would. I could not have said it better myself. You speak for thousands. God Bless you and keep writing. Us American who love this Country are behind you!!!

  14. States Rights says:

    Seems we’ve attracted a few bots and trolls in here.
    Nothing more fun than pissing off a Marxist.

  15. Anonymous says:

    Uncles Joe and Sam are in love.

  16. John Feeny says:

    Uncle Joe -
    That’s some hard-hitting, very edgy analysis. Well done.

  17. whats_up says:

    John said:

    What’s Up -
    I’m curious….can you research for me the last time something as massive as the altering of 1/6 of the nation’s economy was done on reconciliation? It seems the founding fathers embedded the 41-59 notion deliberately to avoid such a scenario. But what did they know?

    As for my credibility, I’m quite comfortable.

    Moron? Maybe…my wife thinks so.


    Reconcilation rules dont have an asterick by them that says they can only be used in certain situations. They are there to be used and have been by either party, its not as you say “utter disregard for time-honored parliamentary procedure”. In fact I would argue just the opposite, those rules are in place for these very reasons, so that government wouldnt just come to a halt. If you want to argue the merits or non-merits of this bill lets do that, but dont try and accuse Dems of underhanded tricks, understand that they had the numbers due to the last election and that is that.

    As for moron’s, my wife thinks I am one too. On that score I dont think either you or I will win :)

  18. It all went wrong since the bong says:

    WouldStock, is now the desire of the millions looking for ANY kind of work.

  19. Joyceaz says:

    Polosi is an embarrassment to Common Sense People. (who ever that be!)

  20. Amy says:

    Well, I guess the site is becoming more widely read. There are a lot more comments from leftists than I have seen before.

    Personally, I hope she feels as miserable as she has made me feel in the aftermath of the most aggregious act of government that I can think of (at least an act that occurred in the U.S.).

    On another subject, though, I was wondering what people think about the DOJ’s release of a list with all the so-called terrorists in our civilian court system. Apparently, the DOJ had decided to call anyone who commits immigration fraud a terrorist. Will that fact help us stop amnesty?

    The original story I read this information is on The Corner at the National Review. It’s called “The Friday Embarrassing News Dump: The Criminal Justice System Works Against PETA!” and was posted today.

  21. Just a song says:


    Look in my eyes, what do you see?
    the Cult of Personality
    I know your anger, I know your dreams
    I’ve been everything you wanna be ohhh…
    I’m the Cult of Personality
    Like Mussolini and Kennedy
    I’m the Cult of Personality

    I sell the things you need to be
    I’m the smiling face of your T.V. ohh…
    I’m the Cult of Personality
    I exploit you; still you love me
    I tell you one and one makes three ohh…
    I’m the Cult of Personality
    Like Joseph Stalin and Gandhi ohh…
    I’m the Cult of Personality

  22. Memories says:

    Not a bad yearbook photo.
    How did she go from Sleeping Beauty to Cruella DeVille?
    Communism is rough on ones frame.

  23. Jeff Schreiber says:

    What’s Up — Reconciliation Rules ARE reserved for certain situations … budgetary matters. Like everything else, though, the guidelines for what’s “budgetary” has been perverted by the left and the right.

    That doesn’t make it right, though.

    By the way, health care reform will cost AT&T ONE BILLION DOLLARS in the first quarter alone. What’s that gonna do to prices? To retirement packages?

  24. Carolina Nan says:

    nana says:
    March 26, 2010 at 11:00 am
    My sentiments exactly, John!!

    Lipstick on a Piglosi

    Today is a day of mourning
    As we greet your birthdate with scorning
    Lipstick on a pig will not hide the facts
    That your face has been frozen in botox and wax
    Seventy years and you keep giving us reason
    To impeach your butt and try you for treason
    May the road rise to meet you when you are run out of town
    As the patriots step up and take you DOWN!!

    I hope you don’t mind that I borrowed your poem. It was too good not to share!

  25. Gail B. says:

    John, when someone puts the name of NC Congressman Walter B. Jones (Hi, Catherine Foder) on the Internet, it shows up in one of his office computers (via Google alert). I just hope this pops up in Pelosi’s office!

    If I had the money that woman has, my face would be frozen with Botox, too! (Did you see where she had to hold onto someone’s arm to be able to walk straight? Drunk again, my guess, given her liquor bill we learned about recently. She certainly doesn’t behave like she’s sober.)

  26. Ouch says:

    I AM NOT uniting behind Obama!

    On Dr. Charles Stanley’s Sunday program “In Touch”, the
    guest speaker was more of a historian than a Biblical
    speaker, but he is very famous for his knowledge of
    historical facts as well as Biblical truths.

    Dr. David Barton is his name. He is an expert on the
    subject of whether or not the United States was
    founded as a Christian Nation.

    Dr. David Barton – on Obama

    Respect the Office? Yes. Respect the Man in the
    Office? No, I am sorry to say..

    I have noted that many elected officials, both Democrats
    and Republicans, called upon America to unite behind

    Well, I want to make it clear to all who will listen that I
    AM NOT uniting behind Obama!

    I will respect the Office which he holds, and I will
    acknowledge his abilities as an orator and wordsmith and
    pray for him, BUT that is it.

    I have begun today to see what I can do to make sure that
    he is a one-term President!

    Why am I doing this? It is because:

    – I do not share Obama’s vision or value system for
    America ;

    – I do not share his Abortion beliefs;

    – I do not share his radical Marxist’s concept of
    re-distributing wealth;

    – I do not share his stated views on raising taxes
    on those who make $150,000+
    (the ceiling has been changed three times since

    – I do not share his view that America is

    – I do not share his view that America is not a
    Christian Nation;

    – I do not share his view that the military should
    be reduced by 25%;

    – I do not share his view of amnesty and giving
    more to null than our American Citizens who need

    – I do not share his views on homosexuality and his
    definition of marriage;

    – I do not share his views that Radical Islam is
    our friend and Israel is our enemy who should give up any

    – I do not share his spiritual beliefs (at least
    the ones he has made public);

    – I do not share his beliefs on how to re-work the
    health-care system in America ;

    – I do not share his Strategic views of the Middle
    East; and

    – I certainly do not share his plan to sit down
    with terrorist regimes such as Iran .

    Bottom line: my America is vastly different from Obama’s,
    and I have a higher obligation to my Country and my GOD to do what is Right!

    For eight (8) years, the Liberals in our Society, led by
    numerous entertainers who would have no platform and no
    real credibility but for their celebrity status, have
    attacked President Bush, his family, and his spiritual

    They have not moved toward the center in their beliefs and
    their philosophies, and they never came together nor
    compromised their personal beliefs for the betterment of
    our Country!

    They have portrayed my America as a land where everything
    is tolerated except being intolerant!

    They have been a vocal and irreverent minority for years!

    They have mocked and attacked the very core values so
    important to the founding and growth of our Country!

    They have made every effort to remove the name of GOD or
    Jesus Christ from our Society!

    They have challenged capital punishment, the right to bear
    firearms, and the most basic principles of our criminal

    They have attacked one of the most fundamental of all
    Freedoms, the right of free speech!

    Unite behind Obama? Never ! ! !

    I am sure many of you who read this think that I am going
    overboard, but I refuse to retreat one more inch in favor
    of those whom I believe are the embodiment of Evil!

    PRESIDENT BUSH made many mistakes during his Presidency, and I am not sure how history will judge him. However, I believe that he weighed his decisions in light of the long established Judeo-Christian principles of our Founding Fathers!!!

    Majority rules in America , and I will honor the concept;
    however, I will fight with all of my power to be a voice in
    opposition to Obama and his “goals for America .”

    I am going to be a thorn in the side of those who, if left
    unchecked, will destroy our Country! ! Any more compromise
    is more defeat!

    I pray that the results of this election will wake up many
    who have sat on the sidelines and allowed the
    Socialist-Marxist anti-GOD crowd to slowly change so much
    of what has been good in America !

    “Error of Opinion may be tolerated where Reason is left free to combat it.”
    – Thomas Jefferson

    GOD bless you and GOD bless our Country ! ! !

    “If we ever forget that we’re one nation under GOD, then we will be a nation gone under.” – Ronald Reagan


  27. nana says:

    Carolina Nan, thank you, you are welcome to use it if you can…I get so angry, my therapy is writing. FYI: for everyone interested in changing our political system, check out this site: INDEPENDENCE CAUCUS…watch the videos and read the information…they are trying to educate citizena about the money trail from Special Interest Groups and Big Money Interests to our politicians. It is fascinating to see how it works, although we know it happens, we just need to understand HOW. You can get involved as a volunteer if you would like to and help shine the light on the politicians in your state and all over the country.

  28. Great tongue-and-cheek! Thanks for sharing.

    Maybe you could start your own little brand at Hallmark: Cards from disgruntled constituents.

  29. Stoccado says:

    Nasty Polution that’s your name, ruining the nation is your game. No birthday greetings for you from me, Nasty. The Hallowed Halls of Congress will have to be disinfected when you get the boot and I hope that Jason’s counterpart will someday bear your likeness. I pray that I will not have to see it anymore.

  30. Gail B. says:

    I called a friend in NC last night about 10:30 or 11 p.m. I got off the phone with her at 3 a.m. Again, I was in total disbelief!

    Eunice wants very badly to believe what Obama(-Soetoro) says. She wants to believe that passage of the HC bill is going to be a good thing, but she wasn’t so sure of herself when I finished reading her some emails on the subject.

    Years ago, when we seniors had to buy into health insurance, the company that she and I chose initially charged $13 a month for the basic. I didn’t pick the basic; and in NC, my premiums were $89/month. When I got to GA, they were reduced to $41/mo. Eunice’s premiums are now over $40 for the same basic coverage, and she pays more in premiums than she does for insurance — with no deductible! She was shocked when I told her that her premiums would go up because of the HC bill.

    I read to her where a Democrat admitted that the HC bill was not about health or care. It’s about money, control, and protection of investments.

    She mentioned that she has not seen anything where the REPUBLICANS offered any sort of alternative legislation to lower costs. I reminded her that I told her a year ago that the mainstream media was behind Obama-Soetoro and that she wouldn’t see any such news item on her TV. (The newspaper there is local and has absolutely gone to pot since I left, she said. I didn’t write for that one, however; I wrote for the one in Richlands.) I told her that the Republicans did everything in their power to get good language in the bill, but the Democrats would hear nothing of it. She didn’t know about that at all!

    I think she’s a bit more awake than she was last year. She said that Obama had said so-and-so, and I told her HE LIES! Saul Alinsky said that the end justifies the means. I had to tell her who Saul Alinsky was, about Hillary’s thesis in college, and that Obama has surrounded himself with ADMITTED Communists and Marxists.

    At least there is a crack of light shining today into her understanding of what is going on. We have been so used to “just letting Congress do its thing” without remembering that Congress is supposed to work for the American citizens and that we pay their salaries.

    Keep talking to folks–sooner or later something will click!

  31. Gail B. says:

    Oops! I said, “…and she pays more in premiums than she does for insurance — with no deductible!”

    Make that “…and she pays more in premiums than she does for her medical expenses — with no deductible!”

    (Sorry about that!)

  32. Randy Wills says:

    For those who say that they “want their country back”, you might want to read Charles M. Blow’s op-ed piece in the 3/26 New York Times on-line regarding that subject.

    To quote the good Mr. Blow, “You may want your country back”, but you can’t have it. That sound that you hear is the relentless, irrepressible march of change. Welcome to America: The Remix.”


  33. Psydog says:

    Reconciliation reserved for budgetary issues. What they did was make it a budgetary issue, this will have far reaching budgetary issues. The Americans are nearing their “I’ve had enough of this BS” limit. Dems are crying foul with the angry phone calls and name calling, they haven’t seen anything yet. Push the resolve of the American public and be prepared to get push back.

  34. Stoccado says:
  35. John's wife says:

    I don’t think you are a moron! Just a song…GREAT reference!

  36. Red Dog squad says:

    Psydog, I’ll take the flank.

  37. Arlene Robinson says:

    Auntie Arlene says Right on, John!! The grandfather for whom you were named would be so proud of you if he were still with us. Although during his life, he was a loyal Democrat, like so many people including me, he would have realized long ago that Nancy Pelosi and most of the rest of her fellow Democrats left the ideals of the Democratic Party behind. The Dems are no longer the party of the working man. Today they are the party of the man who doesn’t want to work!!! Keep spreading the word!!!

  38. Anonymous says:

    Some of us are lucky, John, to have smart aunties.

  39. pretty gal. i don’t recall her kids being in the news for being stupid children. v/r, merry christmas, nan pelosi hyphen (husband’s name).

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