The ‘public option’ gets a facelift
Well, this morning, I commenced the proper court procedure needed to change my first name from “Jeff” to “Doctor.” This way, as soon as the paperwork is complete and the process comes to fruition, I will no longer be Jeff Schreiber; instead, you can call me Doctor Schreiber.
I should have thought of this a long time ago. I could have saved myself about $150,000 in tuition and related expenses spent in pursuit of my law degree. Sure, the lawyer money will certainly be nice, but the work hours involved will likely me undesirable — as a doctor now, I can go golfing between surgeries, and keep my office open only three days per week.
Sure, there might be some patients who, as they lay bleary-eyed on that operating table while I guess as to the location of their spleen, feel a little concerned that I never attended medical school. But that’s okay. I’m Doctor Schreiber. The name says it all.
It’s ridiculous, I know. The phrase “lipstick on a pig” comes to mind, as I’m not at all qualified to perform a spleen-ectomy regardless of whether my name is “Doctor,” “Jeff” or “Mister Spleen.” Neither should America and Americans be fooled by the Democrats’ newest attempt at changing names to protect the ignorant, evident from reports this morning that the so-called “public option” will from this point forward be known as the “competitive option.”
Thank you, Doctor Pelosi. I feel so better now about the destruction of our economy, the end of an exceptional health care system, and the erosion of our personal liberties. Gosh, perhaps she and the Democrats should have tried this before with other unpopular and destined-to-fail policies. Oh, wait. Consider this from Names Have Been Changed to Protect the Ignorant, run here at America’s Right on March 25, after the administration disclosed that the Global War on Terror would henceforth be known as the “overseas contingency operation”:
Democrats on Capitol Hill realize the lack of substance to their superficial ideas, and can only resort to changing the name of floundering policies rather than actually working to solve the underlying problem in question. Nobody, for example, wants to buy “toxic assets” so Tim Geithner decides to change the name to “legacy assets.” Similarly, rather than acknowledge the most dangerous threat to our national security, the very same ignorant woman who earlier this month did her best “Baghdad Bob” impression and said that violence in Mexico has yet to cross over the border into America (Homeland Security Director Janet Napolitano) sidelined the term “terrorism” in favor of the more nebulous “man-caused disaster.” And for years, of course, Democrats have referred to “undocumented workers” instead of “illegal immigrants” because their laissez-faire approach to illegal immigration doesn’t seem quite as palatable to an American public reminded that these people are, in fact, here illegally.
All image. No substance. How many times did we say that about candidate Barack Obama last year? Now, those of us who dared to simply point out the obvious look like Nostradamus.
We all know that the “public option” is no option; even if there is some element of choice, that choice will be eroded once government-run health care pushes private insurers out of the market. And it doesn’t take a genius to see that the “opt-out” provision being hailed as a solution to any misgivings regarding the public option is a complete farce as well — what state will dare explain to its citizens that they might be paying into the system, but they’ll get nothing out?
In truth, though, perhaps “competitive option” is the right moniker, after all. Our health care system used to be competitive, and it was that competition–for profits, for market share, for pride in developing the newest advance or game-changing drug–that has facilitated the growth of a system which drives the rest of the world with its doctors, with its ingenuity, with its success.
Nancy Pelosi and her colleagues are living in a fantasy world. She says that any taxpayer money used to establish the public option would be repaid — sure, like with TARP, the contraconstitutional measure that Treasury Sec. Tim Geithner now says is a “revolving fund” which could very well use in perpetuity the taxpayer money used to fund it? And she says that the public option, or whatever the Democrats happen to call it on a given Tuesday, will eventually drive down government costs — sure, like the way that all other government bureaucracy is so darned cost effective.
I could change my first name from “Jeff” to “Doctor,” but that doesn’t mean I’m qualified to perform surgery, just like “Captain” wouldn’t justify me flying an airplane, or “Officer” allow me to blow red lights in hot pursuit of a perp. The only way that putting on lipstick might change this pig is if I changed my name from “Jeff” to “House Speaker” — if Nancy Pelosi can do the job, then the qualifications obviously are easy to come by.