It’s been a banner day for non-achievement in the United States of America, with the president winning the Nobel Prize for Peace on perceived potential possible promise alone. Well, he wasn’t the only one surprised by winning undeserved prizes — I, too, have been contacted this morning with announcements that I have won a number of wonderful honors:
- The Philadelphia Magazine Best of Philly award for Best Tanzanian Restaurant
- A CMT Country Music Award for Best Fiddle in a Twang Interpretation of Slam Poetry
- A yellow jersey, despite owning only a hybrid bicycle and never actually having traveled to France
- The Rajalakshmi Krishnamurthy Prize for Best Student in English in the 2nd Year at the Indian Institute of Technology in Madras.
- The Heisman Trophy (I’m accepting it as a “call to action.”)
- People Magazine’s ‘Sexiest Manatee of the Year’ for 2009.
America’s Right wants to know — what awards have YOU won today?