‘You Want Mint for Pillow?’

Assigned Reading: Susie’s ‘Sexual Sting’ on Amorous Tories
(FROM: Daily Mail)

Given what seems like a pattern of politicians (on both sides of the aisle) and marital tomfoolery, I saw this story at the Daily Mail’s site, and thought it absolutely ingenious.

But any amorous politician tempted to make the most of their week away from home in a swish hotel should heed a cautionary tale involving Susie Squire.

A former model, she is now political director of the TaxPayers’ Alliance, the high-profile pressure group which has helped to bring MPs to task over their expenses.

At last year’s Tory conference in Birmingham, she became so exasperated at the male attention she was receiving that she mounted a sexual ‘sting’ which left not one but two would-be suitors humiliated.

The sting, news of which has been passed around political circles, was hatched while Ms Squire was enjoying a round of evening receptions. At one, she was approached by a middle-aged delegate who told her: ‘You must come back to my room.’

Despite Ms Squire’s refusal, the man continued to press his case, eventually thrusting one of his room cards for the Birmingham Hyatt into her hand and saying: ‘Come to my room at 3.30am, when the parties are over, and I will give you the time of your life.’

Ms Squire, who was a model and journalist in South Africa and New York before joining the campaigning group, accepted the key – but with no intention of taking him up on his offer.

She then went to another reception, where she was pestered by a second, younger man in similarly persistent terms.

Exasperated, she eventually reached for the first man’s room card and smiled: ‘OK. Here is the key to my room. Come up at 3.30am and I’ll give you the time of your life.’

She was left in little doubt that her ploy to bring the two ardent men together had succeeded when she encountered one of them the following morning, who expressed his fury about his early-hours meeting.

Can you even imagine? It’s the wee hours in a D.C.-area Marriott. The cocktails have stopped flowing, the conferences have long since wound down. John Edwards has situated himself in front of a fire extinguisher in a fourteenth-floor hallway, is stooping over, peering at his reflection in the glass and feathering his silky pony hair with his fingers. Satisfied, he smiles at himself, and pulls the room key from his pocket.

Click
. The light on the door mechanism turns from red to green. Edwards checks his breath one last time, puffs out his chest, smiles that smile and strides into the room confidently . . . and finds Mark Sanford, laying spread eagle across the bed, wearing only a topographical map of the Appalachian Trail over his most sensitive region.

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Comments

  1. GiveMeSanity says:

    ROTLFLMAO!!!!! Love it.

  2. THIS IS EVEN FUNNIER says:

    WASHINGTON — Sen. Lamar Alexander warned a group of conservation and environmental groups on Monday that efforts to promote alternative energy could come at the cost of ruining thousands of acres of landscape.

    Alexander, citing a recent report by the Nature Conservancy, said that "energy sprawl" created by new clean energy production, especially biofuels and wind, would consume a land mass larger than the state of Nebraska.

    "Our nation runs the risk of damaging the environment in the name of saving the environment," Alexander told those attending the speech at the offices of non-partisan Resources for the Future.

    He said producing 20 percent of the country's electricity from wind would require erecting 186,000. 1.5-megawatt turbines, which would cover an area the size of West Virginia.

    Alexander used the speech to promote his idea of building 100 new nuclear plants in 10 years as a way to generate electricity while not adding to the carbon emissions blamed for climate change.

    To read the complete speech, go to http://alexander.senate.gov

  3. Gail B says:

    Another one ROFLMAO!!!

  4. GAIN WEIGHT?, PLAY CURLY says:

    Jim Carrey Shows Off Fuller Figure For 'Three Stooges'

    Watch out, Matt Damon — Jim Carrey's coming through.

    The comedian has promised to gain 40-50 pounds for his role as Curly in "The Three Stooges" — more than the 30 Matt put on for "The Informant!" — and he showed off a chubbier figure on Thursday night at UCLA's 2009 Visionary Ball in Beverly Hills.

  5. Anonymous says:

    "…Mark Sanford… wearing only a topographical map of the Appalachian Trail over his most sensitive region."

    OMG, I just spewed 7-UP all over my keyboard!

    Probably didn't need the whole map though – just the part from Front Royal to Johnson City.

  6. Gail B says:

    "Probably didn't need the whole map though – just the part from Front Royal to Johnson City"

    There went my coffee!

  7. Rix says:

    I am with the commenter to the original article who said something along the following lines: if this lady wants to be taken seriously she should start wearing business suits. Until then, she is nothing but a slut – political opinion notwithstanding.

  8. Still a Patriot says:

    Hi Jeff -

    Tomfoolery – one of my favorite words! Thanks for the laugh – I needed that!

    Susan

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