This Stinks

‘Cow Fart Tax’ sounds innocuous–if not downright funny–but could mean disaster to the American economy

Just as cap-and-trade will destroy American business and industry by forcing companies to move overseas to a less burdensome regulatory environment, just as expanded government control and measures such as salary caps will hinder the American economy, before we know it our agriculture will be hurting as well, this time as a result of a knee-jerk reaction to unproved, junk scientific theory.

That’s right, the Environmental Protection Agency is considering a “gas tax” on methane produced by animal flatulence, a naturally-occurring phenomenon which the United Nations insists produces 18 percent of the world’s greenhouse gases, an amount more than emissions from cars, trucks, trains and planes combined.

And this, of course, has the environmentalists’ hemp undergarments all crumpled up in a bunch.

Yet it’s not as though we couldn’t see it coming. Emissions from cows and sheep have been studied for years and, given the opportunity only a congressional majority and enviro-socialism-friendly White House can provide, the manufactured crisis that is man-made global warming will be used, along with the gaseous animals, to vastly expand the nanny state. On April 14, right here at America’s Right, Ronald Glenn posited that scrutiny on bovine emissions could naturally translate into restrictions and regulations on how and what Americans eat:

To bring about a low carbon, eco-friendly diet in your own life, you are supposed to calculate exactly how much carbon is used to put the plate of food you eat on your table. This includes the ecological carbon “cost” of fertilizers, pesticides, and whatever fuel is used in preparation, packaging, transportation among anything else that comes to mind.

It becomes increasingly apparent in each article on the subject that it is necessary for humanity to move closer and closer to a vegetarian diet. After all, the single-greatest enemy to mankind and our planet is, you see, a gas-emanating bovine — known by most of us as a cow that farts. Gore and his devotees seem to believe that these generally inert, rotund mammals have done more damage to the atmosphere than all the combustion engines and vacuous speeches by Nancy Pelosi combined.

No word, by the way, as to whether the carbon “cost” of bovine flatulence should be accounted for in calculating the environmenal impact of your t-bone steak, nor about the possible adverse effects from veggies like broccoli or cauliflower, which may seem environmentally friendly on the consumption end, but cause similar flatulatory emissions in eaters on the other side of things.

It is unclear to me how the calculations are to be made on a regular basis at all. How does one discern the carbon difference between a potato chip and a pretzel? It also never seems to occur to anyone that all this ridiculousness is being pushed on everyone on the basis of a global warming theory that actually may not be true to begin with! The whole “green” movement in general reminds me of the custom of leaving cookies and milk for Santa Claus — it has more to do with making the giver feel good than helping the designated recipient.

A feel-good mechanism or not, watch out for the economic and cultural effects of this growing practice. Look for the beef and pork industry to come under increasing attack. Look for increased government intervention in the form of food production regulation, all based on ecological concerns. And watch out for the likelihood this diet will be taught in public schools and be used as a guide for what is served in school cafeterias from coast to coast.

Some said it sounded far-fetched at the time, that even our most prolific nanny-staters in Washington, D.C. were incapable of going so far as to regulate the consumption of food. Yet only two weeks ago, in Britain, the Times acknowledged that government officials were “developing menus to combat climate change by cutting out ‘high carbon’ food such as meat from sheep, whose burping poses a serious threat to the environment.”

Out will go kebabs, greenhouse tomatoes and alcohol. Instead, diners will be encouraged to consume more potatoes and seasonal vegetables, as well as pork and chicken, which generate fewer carbon emissions.

“Changing our lifestyles, including our diets, is going to be one of the crucial elements in cutting carbon emissions,” said David Kennedy, chief executive of the Committee on Climate Change.

Even the slippery slope argument aside, increasing the tax burdens on our nation’s farmers–starting with $175 per year per head of cattle and $20 for each pig–will not only obliterate the American agriconomy and make our nation dependent upon other nations for our food supply, but will also exponentially increase the price of food for every single American from coast to coast.

This, from the man who promised not to raise a single, solitary tax on middle and working class Americans. Perhaps income tax rates will not change, but the price of cigarettes have doubled, energy bills will increase two- and three-fold, and the price of everything from milk to meatloaf will skyrocket as well.

All because of junk science, and the opportunities for wealth redistribution and increased government control that junk science presents.

How egotistical can these people get, that they somehow know the perfect temperature for this planet? That they actively work to counteract our planet’s own cyclical, natural processes? That, somehow, after 4.5 million years of ice ages, tectonic plate movements, meteor strikes and solar storms, it will be our incandescent light bulbs, sport-utility vehicles and flatulent cows which will somehow destroy our planet?

How irresponsible can these people get, that they are actively pursing the willful destruction of the very economy which drives the rest of the world’s economies, that feeds the starving, that rescues the victims of natural disasters, terrorism, and totalitarian oppression?

When this particular debate heats up, expect those on the left to laugh at those of us on the right for being so darned concerned over our obsession with environmentalists and cow flatulence. But this debate is no more about bovine emissions than the entire global warming movement is about the environment — this debate is about taking the United States down a notch, this is about forcing an end to American exceptionalism and hurtling a downtrodden, economically handcuffed America into a global economy that will inevitably falter without a prosperous America as an anchor.

As I wrote a week ago today in a commentary entitled ‘Green’ Spokesmouths Need to Curb Emissions, during this time of economic decline and worldwide instability, our priorities need to be elsewhere. Nevertheless, the destruction of our nation, should Barack Obama and the American political left have their way, will not begin with a bang, or a whimper — but with a much more unpleasant sound.

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Comments

  1. NOW YOURE PUSHING YOUR LUCK says:

    Hey Obama, you mess with my steaks, and ice cream, you will pay the price.

    verification word: revot
    Come Nov. 2, 2010 this is what we will do

  2. MOTHER NATURE ROCKS says:

    I guess God felt the CO2 level on the White House grounds was too LOW so He had that huge 69 year old tree fall.

  3. Laurie says:

    I see an opening for a new Czar….COW FART CZAR…one to oversee that the cow farts are taxed and distributed appropriately.

  4. Dot from PA says:

    NOTHING IS SAFE WITH OBAMA IN PLACE. WATCH OUT BIRDS AND FISH!!!

  5. Bison Rancher says:

    The gift of Obama just keeps coming and coming…

    I once went through the calculations to determine the actual amount of methane that the cows of the country and the world produce and I discovered something quite interesting – they did the calculations wrong. You see, it is published in many places the amount in volume that a cow burps each day (no it is not farts, it is burps) of methane. Knowing the volume per cow and the number of cows, you get the volume of gas. Then you need to convert the volume of gas to weight of gas, which as anyone who took Chemistry in high school knows, involves using the ideal gas law and knowing the molecular weight of the gas. All pretty simple stuff, if you paid attention.

    What I found was that instead of getting an answer that matched the figure that was widely touted, I got a different result. So, being the engineer that I am, I decided to try to figure out what I did wrong. Fortunately, I did it right and I figured out that "they" (since I could never figure out who "they" were) used a conversion of one liter of volume is one kilogram of weight (the density of water). So, the end result is that the real amount of methane burped is off by orders of magnitude.

    If I were to have made such a blatant error when I was in school, my teacher would have failed me. Instead, the liberal media repeats the lie over and over, nobody questions the original calculation, nobody knows the truth (because people are too stupid to discover the truth on their own) and they let the charlatans grab more and more power.

    Me – I love vegetarians, I raise them, have them butchered and turned into steaks, roasts, ground up into burger, and sometimes made into sausage.

    We all have pointy teeth in the front called canines. Why? Because man is supposed to eat meat. It is the only way we get certain things that we need to be healthy.

    I am not going to fill out the forms about my farm correctly any more. If the government is going to lie to me, I will have to lie to them.

  6. JEFF SCHREIBER says:

    Me – I love vegetarians, I raise them, have them butchered and turned into steaks, roasts, ground up into burger, and sometimes made into sausage.

    Adopt me. I love you.

    I enjoy eating steaks, roasts, burgers, sausage, and steaks.

  7. Dee says:

    If this administration weren't so serious about this, the whole notion would make a great John Belushi movie or another National Lampoon film. What if the farmer's put Beano in the food? That may help.

  8. Gail B says:

    At first I was going to say that the O-man's Know-It-Alls have done everything else "right," so why not cow farts, too?!

    Then Bison Rancher (bless his heart) just spelled it out in plain English that everyone (except me) can understand. (I carefully avoided chemistry and as many math subjects as possible.) Even so, I get his point, and the Congressmen need to receive the information he gave us.

    THANK YOU, BISON RANCHER!

  9. CANNIBAL LECTER says:

    I say we eat Democrats.

  10. Anonymous says:

    WATCH-OUT!!!!!! Next tax will be on us " people". I'm just wondering the day, when our Government will order in every household, to have ( besides the fire,CO2) a mandatory measurment of human gaz transmiter or anti-beano instructions. What is next?

  11. MERIL WOULD SAY "BAM!" says:

    Al Gores liver, and a bottle of chianti.

    verification word: suppers
    R O F L M A O

  12. WISE ON BISON says:

    I mailed Bison Ranchers thesis to my Congressman, John Tanner 8th District Tennessee.

    Thanks Rancher!!!!

  13. Rix says:

    If those idiots are so concerned with flatulence, why don't they tax the illegal Mexicans? Of all the population of the USA, they sure eat the most gas-inducing food.

  14. Gail B says:

    I'm buying stock in Beano!

  15. Jan says:

    Good golly, I hope they haven't begun the tests on 12-year old boy farts. I won't have a prayer on earth when they start taxing that!

  16. Anonymous says:

    All the gas and farts are coming from Washington and Congress! Barney Frankfurter would be the perfect Fart Czar! Let's tax them every time they expel all this hot air which pollutes the atmosphere!Poor cows they are the scape'goats' for the biggest FART of all…ALGOR the Flatulant! Get rid of the whole bunch and the global warming threat will disappear.

  17. BLOODY RED MEAT says:

    I don't get it, Barry loads up Brian Williams and the whole NBC film crew and goes out to get what??? A BURGER… damned hypocrites.

  18. Bobby K. says:

    If they tax the ranchers and farmers out of business, who are we going to get to feed all the deadbeats in this country. I work hard and have a small place with a few cows and horses, even have a goose, it is relaxing to sit and watch my cows from the porch or to go feed them while the goose chases me. It is what I do on my time off from work, after spending 2 or 3 weeks on a rig it is nice to watch the animals on my place, but since everyone can't have it they want to take it away from us that have worked for the right to sit and watch our few head of cows.
    "enough is enough"

    "When the government is big enough to give you everything you need, it is big enough to take everything away from you" TJ,

    Wake up America and lets do what it takes to take back our country. It starts with us, be the silent majority no more.

    I need to get off my box before I fall, everyone have a wounderful day, and Jeff, keep up the good work we all enjoy and appreciate the hard work you do to keep us informed..
    "God Bless America"

  19. WHISKEY REBELLION says:

    let's fight, BobbyK!

  20. Rix says:

    > If they tax the ranchers and farmers out of business, who are
    > we going to get to feed all the deadbeats in this country.

    To ruin the farmers of the South is exactly what Obama and his cronies want. Not only they kill the financial roots of political opposition, they likely have another, even more sinister, goal in mind. Trust a former Soviet citizen: the people are much easier to control when food shortages are abound and everybody eats from the government's hand.

  21. Still a Patriot says:

    Hi Jeff -
    I had the privilege of attending one of Gov. Mike Huckabee's campaign events here in Wisconsin. He spoke very eloquently & passionately (without notes or teleprompter)about the erosion of our freedoms taking place in America.
    One of the points he made was that we do not want to get to the place where we are dependent on foreign countries for our food. At the time I had never given this a thought, and I remember wondering why he would bring this up. I'm no longer wondering.
    Gov. Huckabee is not afraid to speak the truth & stand behind his words. I pray he will run in 2012, if we even are able to vote by then.

    Susan

  22. Anonymous says:

    Rix:

    As usual, you said what I was thinking…but not only controlling the population, but DECREASING it as well! Creepy!

    Lisa in TX

  23. Anonymous says:

    Growing up on a farm boy I can say I never heard a cow burp. Our milk cows would occasionally get into the pasture that had clover in and they would bloat. If they could burp they wouldn't have bloated. Animals definitely pass gas but I think there is much more gas passed by humans than by animals. And it smells worse to.

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