Assigned Reading: Little Tykes Cozy Coupe Tops U.S. Car Sales
(FROM: Fox News)
According to my sources, which are ample, the president himself is bending to pressure from parenting groups to mandate better efficiency from the vehicles. By 2010, it is reported that the Cozy Coupe will be expected to maintain 3.5 m.p.t., or miles per toddler. Any gain in parental productivity during expanded nap times, however, will certainly be offset by the added cost in the form of toddler shoes; those things aren’t cheap, and if the munchkins are expected to move faster and further, their Stride Rites are going to wear out quicker than ever before.
Unfortunately, what looks like a success for American ingenuity today will likely become another example of out-of-control government expansion, as reports from the Hill confirm that Nancy Pelosi will look to replace GM’s gas-guzzling fleet with airbag-fitted Cozy Coupes. “You can have any color you’d like,” Pelosi is reported as saying (not really), “so long as it is red.”