Meet the New Standard

Assigned Reading: Little Tykes Cozy Coupe Tops U.S. Car Sales
(FROM: Fox News)

I don’t know — the folks at Little Tykes might want to keep their success a little more quiet, lest the Obama administration start looking into a ex post facto tax or some sort of takeover.

According to my sources, which are ample, the president himself is bending to pressure from parenting groups to mandate better efficiency from the vehicles. By 2010, it is reported that the Cozy Coupe will be expected to maintain 3.5 m.p.t., or miles per toddler. Any gain in parental productivity during expanded nap times, however, will certainly be offset by the added cost in the form of toddler shoes; those things aren’t cheap, and if the munchkins are expected to move faster and further, their Stride Rites are going to wear out quicker than ever before.

Unfortunately, what looks like a success for American ingenuity today will likely become another example of out-of-control government expansion, as reports from the Hill confirm that Nancy Pelosi will look to replace GM’s gas-guzzling fleet with airbag-fitted Cozy Coupes. “You can have any color you’d like,” Pelosi is reported as saying (not really), “so long as it is red.”



  1. sharon says:

    Living in Michigan all of my life, this story is just so sad I literally am sick to my stomach over it. I think the fine people in Michigan may be waking up to the reality that they have been sold a bill of goods. Personally I do not believe GM will make it back. It will be FORD, or foreign brand made on US soil. I can tell you here in the great state of MI, FORD sales are up.

  2. CLEAN HOUSE says:

    MY latest bumper sticker:

    (pic of Capitol)
    Clean House in 2010
    435 NEW congressmen

    Until we can put an Army together let's bitch em out of office!

    word verification: rerpe
    A republican venereal disease


    A saloon (sedan) car or even an 4×4 that is fully occupied may be responsible for less greenhouse gas per kilometer travelled per person than a suburban train that is a quarter full, the researchers calculate.

  4. Gail B says:

    I wish my sons had had one years ago. They were playing outside with the hose, and the older one came in and asked, "Mom, does water burn?" (He asked in different ways a couple of times.) I asked what he was doing, to ask that question. He said that he and his brother were playing "filling station."

    My brain put 2 and 2 together. "Timmy, did you put water in my gas tank?"

    "Yes, ma'am."

    "How much did you put in?"

    "Just a dollar's worth."

    My husband said, "I have a migraine headache." I told him not to worry about it.

    (verify: unsit)

    After a cup or two of coffee, I siphoned most of the water out from the bottom of the tank, added a bottle of rubbing alcohol, and kept cranking the engine after repeatedly pouring gas into the carburetor, AND GOT IT STARTED! It ran really rough for a few miles, but it finally recovered. (This last bit was for those with kids or grandkids!)

    I just wish they'd had one of those cars or that they had played "car wash" instead!


    I think we need a czar czar to keep all the czars czaring in a czarlike fashion. Kinda like a Jesus Christ Superczar.

  6. Rix says:

    My, that was hilarious.

  7. Bobby K. says:

    we already have that "broadway" Obama, now he is just picking his disciples but his are called czars

    that is a funny story Gail.

    from the look of your car on here jeff, i need to go on a diet.

    how many of those would i need to pull my stock trailer?

  8. Anonymous says:

    I'm too lazy to make this go…can someone else push it for me??? Maybe the government???

  9. DONKEY POWER says:

    ACORN will find somebody, or Jesse Jackson will strong arm somebody, to push it for you.

  10. A BRIDGE TOO FAR says:

    Edward could afford to drive hundreds of these off the Chappaquiddick bridge.

    verification word: flotos

  11. DRIVE THRU VOTER says:

    Is that plastic resistant to Black- Panther-poll-monitors night sticks????

  12. PIMP DADDY says:

    Does this little red coupe come in an Escalade version?

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