‘Green’ Spokesmouths Need to Curb Emissions

The farcical global warming movement must now take a back seat to other, more pertinent concerns facing their beloved planet Earth

Okay. Ha-ha. It was funny and entertaining and at least perceived to be meaningful while it lasted.

The concerts were nice. The idea that we all turn off our lights for an hour was a neat gimmick. The new Toyota Prius actually looks pretty cool. Even better, I’d like to think that the constant bombardment of “green” propaganda on children’s television has contributed to my daughter’s motivation to finally be free of diapers. Her potty-training efforts, of course, aren’t so much due to peer pressure or just getting older as they are from concerns about landfill capacity.

But the global warming nonsense needs to stop. Or at the very least take a long sabbatical.

Across the pond, the Telegraph is reporting that President Barack Obama’s energy secretary, Steven Chu, is suggesting that everyone paint their roofs white in order to save the planet from certain climate-related doom. The British government is also taking steps to ensure that items such as lamb, hothouse-grown tomatoes and alcohol are used more sparingly on menus in the UK so as to cut down on consumption of foods with a heavy carbon footprint. Sheep, they tell us, burp a whole lot, and sheep’s burps are apparently rich in greenhouse gases. And I believe them, because ewe wouldn’t lie. Nevertheless, it brings to mind a poem from my youth:

I’m sorry that I burped,
It wasn’t very smart,

But if it came from the other end,

It would have been a–

Speaking of uncontrollable flatulence, here at home our former vice president is touting his Nobel Peace Prize–which he stole from a ninety-plus-year-old Polish woman who singlehandedly saved thousands of children from the Holocaust–and begging business leaders across the globe to consider the changing climate and warming planet–which is actually cooling–and support radical, Draconian pollution-curbing legislation, adverse economic consequences be damned.

“Mother Nature,” Gore emitted, “does not do bailouts.”

But the former vice president had better hope that governments across the globe continue to do so, as the legislation he advocates would mean certain death for businesses small and large alike.

Meanwhile, across the bigger pond off our left coast, North Korea’s demented, vertically-challenged leadership is threatening its neighbors with military action and with the end to the armistice agreement which ended the Korean War in 1953, mere hours after testing more short-range missiles, and only days after performing an underground test of a nuclear bomb.

That’s right — a nuclear bomb. Former President George W. Bush may not have been able to pronounce it, but at least he understood the threat presented. In the meantime, someone should ask Al Gore and Professor Chu about shifting priorities: “nuclear winter” may sound cold and snowy, after all, but I’m guessing it’s probably not very good for Mother Earth. Although, perhaps if those in South Korea painted their roofs white, it would be easier for the North to target.

See, like typical Democrats, these suit-laden, aging hippies are more concerned with exploiting the perceived threat associated with this junk science as an excuse to promote the global redistribution of wealth than the actual, deadly threat presented by an unstable dictator in possession of both nuclear weapons and systems by which to deliver them. It doesn’t seem to occur to these intellectual dim [compact fluorescent] bulbs that North Korea’s obvious desire to distribute their nuclear technology–the aforementioned military action was threatened as a response to any attempts to monitor shipping to and from the northern half of the Korean Peninsula, obviously a sign that Kim Jong-il seeks unencumbered proliferation–is decidedly more severe a threat than the fictional results of fabricated evidence showing that a burgeoning polar bear population is somehow actually endangered and at risk of drowning due to shrinking polar ice.

The global warming threat was never real to begin with. It was just another example of lefties taking advantage of a crisis to advance a liberal agenda — in this case, it was an entirely manufactured crisis, and the agenda was more about the redistribution of wealth between global industrial “haves” and third-world “have-nots” than it was about preservation of clean air and green space. And they failed, at least with regard to the ulterior motives.

However, with regard to the illusion of global warming, the starry-eyed, comely assistant in Al Gore’s fraudulent magic show, they actually may have succeeded. After all, there are hybrids at nearly every intersection now, whereas before such a sight was rare; new homes are built in a more energy-efficient manner, and owners of existing homes are taking care to make their established home more efficient in the same way; and people are conscious of what they eat and what they leave behind now more than ever. That should be enough for the global warming movement, or at least a sign of victory — but it’s not. It’s not, because the global warming movement is not about environmentalism; the movement is merely a single warm and fuzzy battle along the front line of the left’s War on Success and Prosperity.

Right now, however, we have an economy in upheaval, and cannot afford to wage such a feel-good battle against progress and growth. We need to create jobs and must do so by expanding industry and by exploring our natural resources, rather than eliminating jobs by allowing industry to flee overseas due to an increased regulatory burden stateside or passing over employment opportunity by refusing to tap offshore and Alaskan oil deposits or the American salvation that is oil shale. Furthermore, we have true threats to our existence, threats associated by real people with real problems and the real capacity to cause mass death and destruction, not the mere potential for long-term annoyances based on cooked books and fabricated facts disseminated by the jilted, bitter, unshowered global warming crowd.

And the effects are being seen. Americans and people across the globe are less concerned about the farce that is an existential threat associated with global warming. Other things occupy their minds — such as putting food on the table, or keeping their children safe.

This global warming nonsense indeed needs to stop. It’s high time for Al Gore and his tree-hugging, environmental-socialist flunkies to take a break, find a moss-covered rock somewhere, sit down and enjoy a granola bar, moldy tofurkey sandwich and a gritty, shag-carpet-textured spirulina smoothie. They need to take a break. The kids at the card table must quiet down for a while so the adults can get to work in solving the real problems affecting the globe they pretend to be so concerned about.



  1. goddessdivine says:

    I almost busted my gut as I scrolled down to see, once again, that image of Al Gore spewing crap from his mouth. Love it.

    Can I just say that I love your tirades on global warming? Your disdain for this farce echos my sentiments exactly (but you of course articulate it so much more brilliantly). This climate change debate IS a carbon footprint. We are wasting so much time and energy on this bogus politicized propaganda; (doesn’t Al realize his hot air is causing ice caps to shrink?)

  2. Gail B says:

    Global warming is such an insult to our intelligence!

    It sounded convincing at first, but then people began to notice flaws in the slaw. It’s all about money, so that certain businesses and people will profit.

    I just don’t like that man–either one of them–Gore or Obama. I can’t trust them.

    Jeff, you are so good at nailing these people to the wall!

  3. Anonymous says:


  4. Anonymous says:

    I want an opt-out clause on that graphic! LOL!

    There is little support for this nonsense and I have to believe what little support there is, most is from indoctrination.

    This is perfect timing for them because in the midst of a cool-down, there will be more energy use for heating (translated: more tax $). That is the real reason that are so antsy to shove what the people don’t want down our throats.

  5. HMMMMM, LET'S SEE says:

    Is Al Gore a bigger joke, or a bigger hypocrite? It’s time for a poll, Jeff.

  6. cal says:

    Excellent piece – juxtaposing the nuclear threat against the global warming threat. If those in the left wing media would do this on TV a couple nights, I think the global warming issue would be dead. Gore though is never going to stop his global warming mantra. Gore stands to gain big money from the green economy and even though he already has enough money to keep most people happy, it will never be enough for him. Just as these lefties can never have enough power, they can never have enough money as well. Thus the difficulty many of them have in parting with it at tax time.

  7. Monica from ACCCE says:

    Look, we all know that affordable electricity is an essential part of protecting consumers and American businesses. During the America’s Power Factuality Tour, our team traveled all over the country to document the places, people and technologies involved in producing cleaner electricity from domestic coal. We even went to Council Bluffs, Iowa, home of the Walter Scott Energy Center – one of the most efficient coal-based plants in America. This facility generates more than 1,600 megawatts of affordable electricity, which has a positive long-term economic impact on the region—one that includes a Google data facility.

    Take a look at the plant and meet the people who keep it running.

  8. Anonymous says:

    Jeff wrote: “… the agenda was more about the redistribution of wealth between global industrial “haves” and third-world “have-nots” than it was about preservation of clean air and green space.”

    A minor quibble: Very little of the wealth slated for redistribution to the third world will actually reach the purported destination. Most of it will be skimmed off by Al Gore and his fellow hucksters, opportunists, politicians and government bureaucrats in both “have” and “have not” countries, and anybody else who comes within touching distance. Those who live in the third world will see precious little improvement in their daily lives.

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