‘Green’ With Nausea, Not With Envy

A wholehearted “thank you” to a faithful reader of America’s Right for bringing this article to my attention.

Apparently, he had just heard Rush Limbaugh read it on his radio show. Now, I normally wouldn’t consider running something simply because Limbaugh found it important — but I found this to be absolutely, positively hilarious.

It’s Jeremy Clarkson’s review, for the London Times, of Honda’s new Insight Hybrid. Now, just because I am a global warming skeptic doesn’t mean that I wouldn’t consider driving a good hybrid. In fact, I’ve enjoyed every Honda and Acura I have driven, and I’ll admit that I’ve been looking at the Insight with interest (as if I had the money to purchase it!). Still, after reading this absolutely side-splitting review, I think it’s off the list.

Furthermore, it should serve as a harbinger of what’s to come in terms of driving American roads. Government control will lead to substandard transport — after all, what has government ever done exceptionally well?

Anyway, that’s enough of my blowhardiness. The whole reason I wanted to reproduce this here was because of the laugh value. Enjoy:

It’s terrible. Biblically terrible. Possibly the worst new car money can buy. It’s the first car I’ve ever considered crashing into a tree, on purpose, so I didn’t have to drive it any more.

The biggest problem, and it’s taken me a while to work this out, because all the other problems are so vast and so cancerous, is the gearbox. For reasons known only to itself, Honda has fitted the Insight with something called constantly variable transmission (CVT).

It doesn’t work. Put your foot down in a normal car and the revs climb in tandem with the speed. In a CVT car, the revs spool up quickly and then the speed rises to match them. It feels like the clutch is slipping. It feels horrid.

And the sound is worse. The Honda’s petrol engine is a much-shaved, built-for-economy, low-friction 1.3 that, at full chat, makes a noise worse than someone else’s crying baby on an airliner. It’s worse than the sound of your parachute failing to open. Really, to get an idea of how awful it is, you’d have to sit a dog on a ham slicer.

So you’re sitting there with the engine screaming its head off, and your ears bleeding, and you’re doing only 23mph because that’s about the top speed, and you’re thinking things can’t get any worse, and then they do because you run over a small piece of grit.

[...]

There’s more. Normally, Hondas feel as though they have been screwed together by eye surgeons. This one, however, feels as if it’s been made from steel so thin, you could read through it. And the seats, finished in pleblon, are designed specifically, it seems, to ruin your skeleton. This is hairy-shirted eco-ism at its very worst.

Read the entire review HERE.

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Comments

  1. D.A. Gust says:

    Jeff,

    Jeremy Clarkson’s take on the car is one you can trust. He has driven them all.

    He is on a TV show called “Top Gear” on BBC America. The show is both insightful and extremely funny. Jeremy among others on the show test drive cars of every sort.

    I can hardly wait for this episode to air…

    Great find.
    Link to site: http://www.topgear.com/us/

  2. Buckshot says:

    “Really, to get an idea of how awful it is, you’d have to sit a dog on a ham slicer.”

    GRRRRR! (Read: Ouch! That’s a terrible analogy!)

  3. Gail B says:

    I had to laugh when he said, “…and you’re thinking things can’t get any worse, and then they do because you run over a small piece of grit.”

    I ran over a pinecone or two a while ago and thought I had a flat tire. (“small piece of grit.”)

    Sounds sorta like Ian’s humor, and he is a riot.

  4. CRASH TEST DUMMY (YOU THE DUMMY, NOT ME) says:

    Can’t wait to slam into one these (but not my fault) with my 1996 Pontiac Bonneville. Good thing I’m a former EMT, so I can start helping them stop bleed pretty quickly. Honda’s new INSIGHT, as in keep yourself an ambulance in sight.

  5. Anonymous says:

    Buy a “hybrid” kill a tree…

    Remeber when we were depleting the Ozone Layer with each spray of an aerosol can? Only to find out, several years later, that the “hole in the Ozone” actually regulates itself.

    What if we determine the level of CO2 in our atmosphere can be regulated by “green botanicals”…oh, wait, we’ve already determined that. It’s going to be awfully funny when we drastically attack the level of CO2 just to find out we’re killing everything green…just another “crisis” brought to you by the progressively liberal and punctuated by the liberally biased current events coordinators (news media).

    What a farse…I bet we clear-up this “crisis” just in time to attack the next one…face it. In the ’70′s we were moving into another Ice Age, then we “killed” everyone big enough to die by depleting the Ozone Layer and now look at us, as if it weren’t enough that we “killed” the planet with those two incidences we will “SURELY” take it out this time. The law of averages has to kick-in somewhere, if they ‘cry wolf’ long enough, one is bound to show up.

  6. PLEASANT UNDER GLASS says:

    Where does Al Gore go when he passes away? If you cremate him it creates CO2, and if you bury him it is landfilling with a big ol metal casket and a rotting corpse. OH, the dilemna. I guess display him like Lenin….. that’s probably what his ego wants anyway.

  7. STILL WANT A 69 PLYMOUTH ROADRUNNER says:

    This is all starting to sound like that episode of The Simpsons, where Homer’s long lost brother shows up and come to find out he is the president of a large automobile manufacturer. This kind brother puts Homer in charge of auto design and needless to say he brings the entire industry down, kinda like Obama is doing. LMAO…. this president is a L O S E R….. we even insist our competitors build crap….. ha ha ha.

  8. ALL SEWERS LEAD TO ROME, I MEAN TO D.C. says:

    Explain this to me, please. With the exponential growth in human intellect we have conquered space, our strides in electronics are mind blowing (with exponentially lowering in price), same for communications, computing, understanding of the human body, quantum physics, etc etc….. YET, no improvement in intellect, cost effectiveness, or unique ideas in self governance. I just don’t understand how CRAP always flows in the direction of government.

  9. EAT AS I SAY, NOT AS I DO says:

    We could ‘pickle’ Al Gore and they could use him as a permanent stage display on The Biggest Loser. It is true isn’t it that fat people are a major cause of global warming (or whatever they try to call it this week)?

  10. cal says:

    Jeff,
    There is no reason to be embarassed about using material from Rush Limbaugh. He does have the largest listening audience on radio. He may not be considered part of the cool crowd in political talk, but he does seem to be the most popular.
    I love your blog as you know as I comment here everyday, but sometimes you go out of your way to apologize for doing things that the left may find politically incorrect.

  11. goddessdivine says:

    Thanks for the laugh. Although, I won’t be laughing when I’m forced to drive one of these tin cans in the name of the global warming farce being shoved down our throats. I’ll be holding tight to my sturdy SUV as long as I can…..

  12. Ian Thorpe says:

    Somebody already gave the lnk to petrolhead TV’s Top Gear.m My favourite recent show was the one where they testest the Tesla, the bsttery powered sports car. Claimed range is 250 iles per charge. Driven with the Top Gear boys usual style and panache the test car managed just 55 miles.

    Some (all)of the new technologies are not ready for market by a good few years.

Trackbacks

  1. [...] in May of last year, a reader steered me toward Jeremy Clarkson’s review for the London Times of the brand new Honda Insight hybrid.  The car was apparently dreadful–”biblically terrible,” Clarkson [...]

  2. [...] in May of last year, a reader steered me toward Jeremy Clarkson’s review for the London Times of the brand new Honda Insight hybrid.  The car was apparently dreadful–”biblically terrible,” Clarkson [...]

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