Assigned Reading: Keith Olbermann Offers $1,000 a Second for Sean Hannity Waterboarding
I’m no Sean Hannity, but if the money goes to charity as Olbermann insists, I’ll take him up on it myself. Even if I last for three seconds, that will likely far eclipse Olbermann’s charitable giving for the entire year. Of course, this particular arrogant joke of a journalist might actually be very charitable, but I cannot say for sure, as most liberals aren’t exactly known for their generosity. They’re far better at taking from some and giving to others rather than giving on their own.
After I’m done being waterboarded (and if I can solicit enough donations), I’d like to offer $1,000 to charity for every minute Olbermann stays alone in a closed, unguarded, unmonitored room with an unrestrained Khalid Sheikh Mohammed and a sharp, serrated knife. Perhaps, if he can hear himself think above the loud chant of “Allahu Akhbar” and has enough time to think before being serenaded with a KSM-performed special cover of the Mills Brothers’ classic, I Ain’t Got No Body, Olbermann might realize that, gee whiz, these people will stop at nothing to kill infidels like you and me. Good night, and good luck, indeed.
Even if Olbermann doesn’t agree to my counteroffer (or if it’s simply not feasible for other reasons), I’ll still gladly take him up on the offer he made to Sean Hannity. I’ll be more than happy to endure a few seconds of uncomfortable uncertainty if it will raise a few thousand dollars for the March of Dimes or the USO. Too bad our party-before-country leadership isn’t willing to similarly reduce the comfort level of murderers if it will save a few thousand American lives.