A Touching Piece from Ann Coulter

Assigned Reading: Ann Coulter: Nell Husbands Martin Coulter
(FROM: Human Events)

My thoughts and prayers are with conservative writer Ann Coulter, as her mother passed away last week. Normally, this sort of thing wouldn’t be included in Assigned Reading, but I found myself touched by Ann’s column today. I certainly do not always agree with her, and I occasionally find her tone to be a little too ascerbic, but overall I like Ms. Coulter — but under no circumstances would I associate her with any of the, uh, softer emotions. Today, while she couldn’t resist getting a few jabs in at the Democrats, she proved me wrong, and she managed to strike a nerve.

At 30 years old, I am fortunate enough to have both of my parents alive and well, though my relationship with one of the two is currently in the sixth year of a state of flux. There was a blowup back in 2003 and an awkward rekindling of that blowup in 2004, on my wedding day of all days. Since then, when we have touched base, my mother and I have communicated through a series of letters and greeting cards. Recently, the correspondence has been more and more optimistic, though still few and far between. The latter is something that needs to change.

Last week, on tax day, as those of us right-wing extremists braved varying weather conditions and an FBI tail to voice our opinions about federal government run amok, my mother, a certified public accountant, celebrated 15 years to the day when she was diagnosed with breast cancer. It was April 15, 1994 when she shared what her doctor had told her. Fortunately, the doctors caught it early, but it wasn’t long before she was poking fun at then President Bill Clinton’s expensive haircut a year earlier–traffic at Los Angeles International Airport was stopped so Clinton could bring a Beverly Hills hairdresser onto Air Force One for a trim–as her own was falling out.

Last I heard, my mother is still fortunately cancer-free, though the subject hasn’t exactly been breached in the cordial exchanges limited to cheerful Hallmarks as the years have passed by. As my daughter–her only grandchild–turns three years old in a little more than a week having never met her paternal grandmother, I think it’s time for both of us to grow up and bury the hatchet.

Mother’s Day is coming up. I suspect that day will be especially difficult for Ann Coulter, as it is obvious from her touching column that she will miss her mother. I know that I will miss mine, too.

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Comments

  1. Anonymous says:

    Jeff,
    Forgive me, but I feel compelled to urge you to call your mother…NOW. Life is so incredibly short. At some point, it will be too late, and regret is a nagging albatross that will burden you the rest of your life.

  2. JasonZ says:

    Jeff, you don’t need advice from us, because you’ve already said it better than any of us could. Someday your mom will be gone (we all hope that day will be far, far into the future) … and when that happens, all the “I coulda … I shoulda …” thoughts will be meaningless. The time to fix this is now.

    My dad passed away 18 years ago … a heart attack on his 83rd birthday. He was gone in 10 minutes. So much I wanted to say to him … and never got the chance.

    My mom passed away last July, 6 years after her diagnosis of cancer. We had lots of time to talk and to prepare, but there’s never “enough” time … there’s always more that kids and grandkids need to say … and to hear.

    As for Ann, whether we agree with her on a specific issue or not on any given day, she is human … and we need to appreciate and support her in her time of need …

    JasonZ

  3. tm says:

    Sometimes Jeff,
    The most important reconciliation is the one you make with yourself..

    Peace.

  4. Anonymous says:

    My comment has already been expressed by others but just do everything YOU can do to make amends, then at least you won’t feel any guilt. I cannot imagine staying away from my little granddaughter. You and your family will remain in my prayers.

    Sally

  5. Claudia says:

    eff,
    Forst off, I must correct you on the date that your Mother shared the news with you and the rest of the family about her Cancer, it couldn’t have been 1944, I am sure you meant 1994……

    I left a note for Ann, offering my sympathy, as I am sure many others have also. I lost both of my parents before I was 22 years old, way back in 1963 (father) and 1967 (mother) and I STILL THINK about them all the time, they never leave my conscience or my heart. Even though they are long gone from anything that is in my mind on a day to day basis, every once in a while, someone says something or looks a certain way and I just melt. Losing a parent is that sad something that stays with you for the rest of your life, much the same as losing a child does. I never got to know either of my parents as people, just as and only as parents, and there is a vast difference in the two. I miss mine and because of that I want everyone of you to hold yours close in your heart for a moment, at least once a week for a special moment, if they are far away and if they are near-by, hold them close in person.

  6. JEFF SCHREIBER says:

    Well, that’s embarrassing!

    Thanks for pointing it out!

  7. Gail B says:

    My daddy and I were “buddies and chucks.” My mother loved me, no doubt; and I loved her, no doubt. But she had her baggage which I didn’t realize was NOT my fault until after she was gone.

    You are your mother’s son, and she would have to love you. I mean, be honest, Jeff–what’s not to love about you? Unless you have committed something dishonorable, if your mother has a problem with you, SHE has a problem, not you.

    The people who commented above in the thread have said what is in my heart to say. I have never learned to “speak softly,” as you have probably noticed.

    We all love you, and your mother does, too! Mother’s Day is upcoming. She probably is longing to see her granddaughter….

  8. Randy says:

    Just show up and say hi.

  9. Anonymous says:

    You need your mom even if you can’t possibly understand WHY DID SHE DO ? SAY THAT?. Just forget “IT”. – A blow-up doesn’t sound like enough to withold your child from your mom. 6 years-ENOUGH ALREADY, stop punishing your mom for her wedding day blunder and FORGIVE HER EVERYTHING and let her know the miracle that is your child. (Imagine you or your wife twenty years from now, if BY YOUR OWN EXAMPLE your child cuts you both off for some blow-up?)

  10. Lilly says:

    Jeff-
    I read that column yesterday and shared it on my facebook. It could have been written about my mother as well. I lost my mother on Christmas eve to an accident. We were very close and I can tell you that her Dr’s didn’t like to have to deal with me, lol.
    Jeff- call your mother if for no other reason, your daughter needs her grandmother. My father just passed a few weeks ago to a heart attack. I wish I called him a bit more…

  11. THOMAS says:

    well – this is the moment we all should take a breather
    from the deliberate gloom DC is causing and reflect on how truly blest we are daily – whether it is to wake next to the warmth of our lover and spouse or to receive hugs from our little ones as we walk through the door or simply enjoy the smell of cofffee early in the morning as the sun beams through glass panes and read all of the updates from Jeff – who deserves great thanks from all of us…..for giving us an opportunity to become brothers and sisters struggling and fighting together for our great nation the United States of America – and may the consoling warmth of the heavens comfort Ann and her family as they move into a new place in their lives ,that each of us are here as a gift to each other and hopefully we learn this long before it is time to leave . Bless all who visit this treasure ” America’s Right ” and thank you Jeff . Erin

  12. Anonymous says:

    Jeff, remember you are your mother just as your child is you. Accept your mother’s faults just as you’ll one day accept your child’s faults. When you don’t learn from a diffcult experience life will surely repeat the lesson. God forbid you or your wife never get to meet your own grandchildren. I pray you and your mom reconcile and your hearts remain open.

  13. Gail B says:

    Picture Judge Judy with grey hair, and you have a good image of my mother. My life growing up was spent in her “court.”

    My mother-in-law was the sweetest, most thoughtful woman in the world. EVERY time my husband and baby boy went to visit her, she has some little gift for me–a slotted spoon, a decorative plate, something, anything to let me know she cared and thought about me.

    Finally, I asked her to stop being so nice because I just wasn’t used to it; I had not been brought up that way. She said okay. Ha! She kept it up.

    One day while we were visiting, I went to her and put my arms around her and cried onto her shoulder. “All those little gifts were to tell me that you love me,” I blubbered. “Thank you, and I love you, too!” It’s a wonderful feeling, knowing that someone loves you for who you are and not for what they want you to be.

    Does that ring any bells?

  14. Mandy says:

    Jeff
    My mom died when I was 3.
    I remember in high school my best friend was always fighting with her mother…she’d say “I hate her”, “I can’t wait to move out”, blah blah blah…and I would listen to her and think if only I had a mother to fight with.

  15. Lil says:

    Jeff,

    Thank you for sharing Ann’s article; I have too ledt her a message with my condolences.

    It is time for you to make ammends with your mother and introduce her to her grandchild. A mother’s love is forever so whatever it was that brought you too apart can be forgiven and forgotten. I’d say surprised with a visit!

  16. MEMORIES says:

    Jeff,

    much different circumstance, yet similar somewhat. MY mom has had alzheimers for a few years now. I find myself not communicating with her because it seems tortuous in a way. Her room is too small for us 5 remaining kids to send a lot of ‘stuff’ and if it were me it would be cruel to be reminded of life on the outside. I am in a twilight zone of how to actually behave. Can’t speak on phone, am 700 miles away, and like I said I fear it cruel to send reminders. If possible get back with mom, Jeff.

  17. Anonymous says:

    Jeff,

    It is impossible for any of us here to know what the source of your differences with you mother are, and it is none of our business. However, does it really matter? There are, no doubt, feelings of anger and distrust on both sides, just as there are feelings of longing, and love on both sides.

    Show your mother on mother’s day that you are the man she brought you up to be. Go see her, with your family, introduce her to her grandchild, and do your best to make a lasting peace with her.

    I had some time to watch both my parents slip away. As anyone knows who has gone through that will tell you, it is the most painful, soul wrenching event one can ever have to deal with. If your mother is well, this is the time to re-kindle. If your mother is ill, this is the time you MUST rekindle. For you, and your family.

    RobL

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