Cool It, People

The solipsistic roots and potential unintended environmental consequences of the ‘Obama to the Rescue’ mentality

In the 1970s, out of concern that the planet was cooling, many scientists were considering radical ideas to combat its surely disastrous consequences by artificially warming the Earth, ideas such as spreading soot on the polar ice caps in order to facilitate melting.

Of course, we’re now being told that there was no such scientific consensus on the threat of global cooling — though such charges are being made by the same people who claim to have complete scientific consensus that our Earth is warming, that the human race (not the sun, of course!) is the cause, and that the consequences could be deadly. So, not only are people like NASA’s James Hansen and former Vice President Al Gore saying that “the debate is over” in terms of man-made global warming, they’re arguing that there never was any debate about cooling temperatures in the 1970s.

Contrary to my own unique ability–due to my expanding midsection and the Law of Water Displacement–to cause a slight rise in sea levels across the globe when I go for a dip in the Atlantic, and despite my slight resemblance to a tanned manatee while sunbathing, I am by no means an expert on our oceans, climate, or anything else in our natural world. I am, however, a cynic — and if anything is needed to fight the consequences of the global warming movement, it’s cynicism.

Even if, per chance, there was no true scientific consensus in the 1970s about global cooling just as there is no true scientific consensus now about global warming, such a lack of consensus only underscores the fact that, when it comes to planetary matters, our perspective as educated human beings only provides us with the briefest snapshot of the 4.5 billion years since the Earth’s creation. In other words, we don’t know squat. And we should hesitate before doing anything drastic–in any direction and for any reason–before we know more.

Let’s set aside, for the moment, how the global warming movement is more rooted in ideology than conservation. Let’s ignore, for a second, how the entire concept is more about the redistribution of wealth than the welfare of the planet. Instead, consider the relationship between mankind and the planet Earth.

How egotistical are we in thinking that, after spending only 10,000 years on a 4.5 billion-year-old planet, human beings are so powerful as to counteract the natural correctional mechanisms of planet Earth? Heck, the vast, vast majority of our time here was spent in blissful ignorance to the potential of Man, in a state of involuntary cohesion with nature. I find it amazing how solipsistic these so-called environmentalists are, thinking that after surviving ice ages and dinosaurs and meteor strikes and earthquakes and monumental movements of tectonic plates, the Earth will suddenly be destroyed because of mankind and our horrible, terrible carbon emissions.

I thought Galileo debunked the idea that the rest of the universe revolved around the Earth. Somebody should tell these arrogant, dirty, socialist, self-centered hippies that he was right.

Speaking of arrogant socialists, the Associated Press is reporting today that President Barack Obama–champion of that great environmental and social equalizer, cap-and-trade–is considering taking radical steps to artificially cool the planet’s air, including but not limited to cloud-seeding and the synthetic reflection of solar rays. Perhaps, too, he could consider issuing an executive order mandating that Al Gore shut his gaping, hypocritical mouth.

All kidding aside, John Holdren, the president’s new science adviser, said yesterday that the government would determine whether or not a certain threshold was passed, whether or not the Earth was truly “desperate enough” for such actions to be taken.

My question is: Determined by whom? Who will be in charge of deciding just when the Earth is “desperate enough” to warrant taking unprecedented, radical steps which could have a whole host of globally disastrous unintended consequences, all based on a perceived danger which could very well be a scientific myth? Who gets to push that button?

Last I checked, the federal government isn’t exactly well-equipped to predict the possible consequences of its actions. Look at our economy, for example, and the adverse consequences of forcing banks to relax lending standards in the name of social justice. Government rarely knows best, and in this situation, the failure of the federal government could lead to a completely irreversible result.

In the case of Mother Earth, perhaps these global warming activists should actually think of the planet first, rather than act as part of a greater ideological agenda or merely place their faith in those who exploit their crunchy, organic passions and do just that. Perhaps the greatest thing we can do for our planet is to be responsible stewards of Earth, and allow for the planet to do what it has been doing for the 4.4999999 billion years before the Industrial Revolution — adapt.

Meanwhile, I only hope that somebody has the courage to ask Al Gore or any of his flunkies what, exactly, would be the optimal temperature for planet Earth, and then ask why. I’m interested to see two things — first, if they have a rational basis for plucking a number out of thin air and, second, if they’re actually so arrogant and egotistical to truly believe that they know what’s best for their own Mother.



  1. Rix says:

    Aww, the planet is warming up! Two rounds of Kool-Aid to everyone, on the House!

  2. GET REAL PEOPLE says:

    Amen, Jeff, and once again if my Methodist church doesn’t quit spewing this idiocy I’m leaving. It’s ridiculous.


    Don’t Barry’s cigarettes spew not only carbon, but carbon monoxide and several other noxious gasses?

    For nonsmoking adults, secondhand smoke increases their lung cancer risk by at least 20 percent and their heart disease risk by at least 25 percent. Children exposed to secondhand smoke are at increased risk of asthma attacks, ear problems, acute respiratory infections and sudden infant death syndrome, health officials say.

  4. BEARS AFLOAT says:

    Priceless photo Jeff, Barry’s HOT abs melting the ice right out from under those poor cubs. What’s the hippie in the lower left doing? I could use him in my reggae band. (Did he think Al said ‘save the beers’?)

    word verification: tistisma
    Kenyan for- femininely charismatic

  5. Anonymous says:

    Filling the atmosphere with particulate matter is ALREADY being done. It’s been going on for years. The Air Force OPENLY admits this. In 2000, The Times of London reported confirmation the US military scientists are working on weather systems as a potential weapon. They plan to own the weather by 2025.

    A chemtrail scientist working on advanced experiments at Wright Patterson Air Force Base reported on the chemtrail projects being conducted by the air force. One centers on creating cloud cover to reduce global warming. The other project reflects radiation of artificial chemclouds in order to enhance the effectiveness of military radars and HAARP.

    Look up in the skys. Chemtrails (not to be confused with contrails) are REAL. While many have discounted them, there is plenty of documented evidence about what they are. And, now the government is out in the open about them.

    This is just like the government. Something they’ve been doing for years is now revealed after they’ve brainwashed us about “global warming” .

    But…altering the weather is not all they’re doing. Many areas being sprayed are seeing increases in numerous illnesses, crops being destroyed and a new, mysterious disease…Morgellon’s Disease. Look it up on the web.

    This is happening worldwide. Maybe this is why we don’t need F-22′s. has several videos on this subject. Worth the watch.

  6. Jeff Schreiber says:

    Bears –

    That’s the Heineken-grabbing looter from the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina.



    I’m obviously not heartless, and feel for the people in that fantastic American city, but they DID have warning to get out … and any way you look at it, the photo of the dude with a tub full of Heinekens and one in his back pocket is hilarious, regardless of the context.

  7. Uncle Rick says:

    I used to have a 1976 issue of National Geographic that had as its featured article the concerns you mentioned about a coming Ice Age. It had a picture of the Austrian glacier (I don’t know its name) which was, even then, shrinking, and a one- or two-sentence disclaimer about the possibility of the greenhouse effect offsetting the cooling, but the message was clear: prepare for snow.

  8. Anonymous says:

    Off topic -

    Everybody must read this –

    Our government is engaged in extortion with our banks!!

  9. Anonymous says:

    Does anyone besides me remember George Carlin’s take on saving the planet?

    “we have the conceit to think that somehow we’re a threat?” about 3 minutes in

  10. MUJERLATINA says:

    If Bam-Bam and Michelle-O are so worried about global warming, then why are they jet-setting around the world extending their campaign 2008 carbon footprint? Shame on them. Come on home, get down to the business of the American people and ‘stay-a-while’ in your new D.C. home instead of prancing around the earth — oh, I forgot, the two are solipsistic, and as such they believe they are excused from any responsibility to others. Disusting. Que delincuente e ignorante: gente sin verguenza….

  11. tm says:

    Hey Uncle Rick:
    I went to my collection of Nat. Geo. and looked it up. You are spot on. Do any of these fools read?
    I just think that anything Bam Bam can get a crisis going on – he will try to make us pay for it
    Pay to Play the Chicago way.

    Jeff, I liked the animated pic better – the one with stuff coming out of gore the whore’s mouth. Also, more trolls come on when you put that one up – Bring it on.

  12. Bodenzee says:

    I’ve had a home on the Atlantic Ocean for the past 40 years. The water level, referenced to mooring rings driven into granite at high tide have not gone below water yet. Al Gore’s piece of the ocean may be rising, but mine isn’t…I just looked.

  13. PattyW says:

    It is arrogantly egotistic to think that humans can stop the climate from changing! If it weren’t for climate change, life would not exist. Just look at Venus or Mercury or anywhere else in this universe where the climate of a planet remains fixed. DEAD! The climate has undergone countless warmings and coolings since it was created. Measly little humans can not effect the kind of change that something like Vesuvius can. FYI: I read and we are in the midst of a solar minimum right now. This is the least number of solar flares since the turn of the last century. My guess is we are going to be cooling down in the next few years. Get ready to pay those high electric bills in the winters ahead, thanks to our carbon taxes!
    I want my bumper sticker to read:
    “Stop Plate Tectonics, Now!”

  14. Gail B says:

    AKA Obama doesn’t give a rat’s potato about global warming or cooling. His concern is undermining the American economy, one way or the other, and control (the all-powerful god to him).

    As I was reading, I thought, “They’re going to look God in the face and try to control the weather, too.” Then, I read what Anonymous wrote at 2:21 p.m.:

    “The Air Force OPENLY admits this. In 2000, The Times of London reported confirmation the US military scientists are working on weather systems as a potential weapon. They plan to own the weather by 2025.”

    Oh, snit! Uh, snot, no, snow!

  15. SIT DOWN AND SHUT UP says:

    Why can’t a former Senator and Vice President JUST RETIRE and shut the freakin PIE-HOLE!!!! Jeesh! What a camera whore.

  16. Bodenzee says:


    You can ask Al Gore what the optimal temperature is for the planet, but to expect a response is deaming. He won’t debate or explain…He proclaims.

    Gore is ignorant of the topics he pontificates on, and that is why he is so afraid to debate.

  17. Anonymous says:


    You’ve been reading my mind. I have been saying for years that we need not be concerned with putting Earth on her course to destruction. Rather, we should concern ourselves with surviving Her corrections if we do throw things out of whack.

  18. doogle says:

    It’s all a farce! Obama and his ilk KNOW there isn’t any global warming but need a graceful way to get out of their misdirected prediction without looking like idiots (ooops, too late…). Quite the converse, they now realize the earth is probably cooling. So they’re gonna seed the atmosphere with a million tons of sulfur dioxide to “solve” the warming problem. Then their scientists will say “Hey look! The problem is solved…the earth is now cooling!” And Barack Obuffoon will have saved the planet! What a hero. A new religion may even be started in his honor.

    And, like Rush said today, we can all start driving SUVs again because they are no longer the problem.

  19. Anonymous says:

    Visit this Newsweek article on global cooling that was front page economic news.

    Heaven help us as I now heard bailouts for Insurance companies who have small stakes in financial institutions

  20. goddessdivine says:

    Brilliant Jeff. As a fellow cynic and disbeliever in man-made global warming, AMEN! The pictures are fantastic too.

    It’s all about control and ideology. Obama and his ilk want us driving in dinky, worthless electric cars while they flit and float about in there jets and suburbans. Hypocrites.

  21. Anonymous says:

    It is a massive head lice infestation of new tax revenue streams.Speaking of head lice…bambi’s ready for amnesty now or shall we say action here at home.ALL HANDS ON DECK!

  22. DUDE, YOU'RE AGING says:

    It’s fun to think how FAT Barry would be if he quit smoking, and how just as fast the idol worship would cease. America, ye be shallow. He seems to be getting uglier by the day with the stress we are putting on him so it shouldn’t be too much longer.

  23. CAL says:

    These liberals never cease to amaze me. This all reminds me of a James Bond movie about some crazy megalomaniac who thinks he knows best and tries to control the climate with potentially devastating effects. What is even more amazing to me though are all the normal everyday intelligent people out there who are buying into this farce and do not stop for a moment to question the absurdity of it all. Thank you for this great article.

  24. CAL says:

    I do not know about you Jeff, but I was always taught to not mess with Mother Nature.

  25. Anonymous says:

    solipsistic is such a great word that applies to so many
    and I never new its name only the definition !!!!

  26. Ian Thorpe says:

    I take the scepitcs view, the polluters have an agenda – they want to keep costs as low and profits as high as possible: the scientists have an agenda – they want bigger research grants, more doctorates and more “global warning conferences” in the Seychelles (they never hold these confrences anywhere like Middlesborough or Detroit do they?)

    I’ve been collecting the whackiers schemes to combat global warming for a while so I will be writing about it.

    For this comment it’s enough to say the climate is changing. Rather than dreaming up schemes to control the weather which could have very unfortuate consequences several deacdes down the line we should be thinking about feeding people, controlling floods and making plans to deal with previously unknown extremes of weather. We could argue forever about what is to blame.

  27. Anonymous says:

    Crunchy. . . there’s that word again to describe eco-types! I think it’s the third time you’ve used that adjective on them on this site, Jeff.

    Stop it, man! You’re cracking me up.


Speak Your Mind