Why I Think Barack Obama May Choose Sen. Joe Biden

Please, no wagering.

Especially based upon these arguments, as I am certainly not sure of anything myself.

In fact, before today and certainly over the past few weeks, I was convinced that Barack Obama would take someone young, someone perhaps a little unknown, someone with relatively unestablished moderate liberal chops as his running mate. I was convinced that it would be Kansas Gov. Kathleen Sebelius, Indiana Sen. Evan Bayh or Virginia Gov. Tim Kaine. In fact, I’m still not convinced it won’t be.

I was sure of myself in arguing that Obama would never, in his right mind, pick Delaware Sen. Joseph Biden or former Georgia Sen. Sam Nunn, namely because of the former’s long tenure in Washington–he’s been there since long before I was even born–or the latter’s issues with voting gay democrats. Frankly, neither Nunn nor Biden fit in with Obama’s message of “hope” and “change.” Joe Biden especially, between his suits, hair and attitude, just reeks of fat-cat politics.

Today, however, I had a change of heart.

Tim Kaine, while an attractive choice who provides the Illinois senator with a chance to capture prized Virginia, would do nothing to augment Obama’s lack of experience in foreign policy and beyond. Evan Bayh may provide Obama with a shot at turning a red state blue, and his ten years in the senate may add seasoning without the feel of an establishment politician, comes from old Washington stock. And Sebelius, while I feel as though she might be the one, might trample on supporters of Hillary Clinton who wanted their candidate to be the woman in the spotlight.

Enter Biden. As chairman of the foreign relations committee, he makes up for a large perceived shortfall in Barack Obama’s candidacy. As a stark-raving-mad liberal, he was vehemently anti-war, and relishes every opportunity to malign the Bush administration. As a grade-A prick, Biden could be unleashed on the attack, saving Obama to look soft and cuddly for the superficial American voting public. And, while his 36 years in D.C. may very well run afoul of Obama’s entire message of “change” but, properly spun, could actually serve to enhance his candidacy.

“I know Joe Biden has been in government for a long time,” Obama could very well tell his supporters. “I know he doesn’t exactly look like the spitting image of a changed Washington. But who better to know exactly how Washington needs to be changed than a man who knows Washington as well as Sen. Biden?”

The number one rule of picking a running mate is simple: do no harm. That being said, if Biden can forego tradition and avoid sticking his foot in his mouth, his presence on Barack Obama’s ticket may have more upside–and avoidable downside–than any of the other names thrown around for the past few weeks and months.

Personally, I’d love to see it. I’m not sure that Obama can spin his way into convincing voters that Biden fits into the “change” mantra–especially if he’s not privy to a teleprompter–and I don’t trust the Delaware senator for a second to not spout off and ruin everything with a poorly timed, tasteless remark.

So there you have my guess, just as so many others make their guesses as well. For all I know, Obama may try to turn the GOP’s energy crisis arguments on their head by picking Al Gore. Heck, it could even be Oprah. Nobody knows for sure. Ralph Nader seems to think Hillary Clinton will get the nod. Michael Moore is Dick Cheney obsessed and wants Caroline Kennedy, after running the vetting process for the Illinois senator as Cheney did for President Bush, to pick herself for Obama’s number two spot just as Cheney did. Personally, I think it’s going to be Biden, since Elvis is dead and since Hugo Chavez and Vladimir Putin are currently busy elsewhere.

Maybe we’re all wrong. Does Fidel Castro have another brother?

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